"All other things being equal" implies what we all assume: We marry for love first. Or at least we have the dignity to pretend to do so. There is something very unromantic about the thought of marrying for money.

In fact, long ago, before anyone had heard of Regis, there was something embarrassing about admitting you’d like to make an easy million by any means. Our parents and grandparents seem to know instinctively that you are supposed to earn your money. You may have heard them mumbling about the Protestant work ethic and how "He who does not work shall not eat."

A better name for the television special that aired February 15 might have been: "Who Wants To Publicly Admit Being Willing To Marry A Complete Stranger Who Also Happens To Be Rich?" True, this title is not as catchy. It is, however, closer to the truth.

I dare not judge the motives of the one thousand women who applied to be in the contest, but many of today’s television producers seem to have come from a different moral planet. As far as I can tell, their ethics include the following propositions: (1) If you know the right trivia at the right time, you deserve to become a millionaire; (2) If you are a multi-millionaire, you can attract a wife; and (3) If enough people tune in to watch a given activity, it must be morally right.

That’s entertainment?
Mike Darnell, the Fox executive who created "Who Wants to Marry," has also thought up such programs as "When Good Pets Go Bad" (which actually aired) and a live show wherein a 747 is actually crashed in the desert (the show was publicly disowned by his superiors at Fox). After being asked to think up a show that did not include violence, Darnell admitted to New York Times that the notion behind this show was to merge the Miss America pageant, "The Dating Game," and "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

Did I mention that there was a swimsuit section of the contest, in which ten finalists modeled "beachwear?" For the first time in my life, I agree with NOW president Patricia Ireland. She told the New York Times: "It took something like this to make the Miss America pageant look good to me."

Ms. Ireland is primarily concerned that such programming perpetuates the stereotype of women as sex objects. I would go further to say: This is a mockery of marriage! This program’s format implies that a lifelong union – an institution of God – can be initiated based upon a man’s money, a woman’s physical appearance, and 30-second answers to randomly assigned questions between commercial breaks.

Each of the 50 contestants chosen by the network bought designer wedding gowns before the show. Hoping that she would be the one chosen, each strutted and posed on cue before a live audience, national television cameras, and a screen which shrouded Mr. Multi-Millionaire. The first word anyone heard about the groom-to-be was near the end of the program, moments before he made his final selection. A short video depicted some of his life. Still mysterious, never quite facing the camera: rollerblading in California, jogging along a beach at sunset, and dining with family and friends. While romantic music played, he was shown looking out the window of one of his real-estate investments, accompanied by a voiceover of him reflecting on how he would like to share his blessings with someone else.

The romantic in all of us
When he finally emerged in person and revealed his identity, Rick Rockwell said he was "humbled and embarrassed" that people would stage such a production and exert such efforts simply for him. "What’s a nice guy like him doing on a program like this?" I wondered.

He chose to propose to Darva, an attractive Gulf War veteran and emergency room nurse. Beaming, she accepted his proposal. By then I had lost my critical mind: "I knew he would choose her!" I gloated to my roommate. As Darva and Rick gazed into one another’s eyes, at once admiring and unfamiliar, I found myself wishing them a happy and fruitful marriage. "Surely they would enjoy the adventure of life together," I thought dreamily. "As long as they stay honest and teachable, they will grow to love each other just like many other couples I know."

Still, I grimaced when he kissed her. How can total strangers kiss on the lips? (Pardon me, my naivete is showing.) After a commercial break, the ceremony uniting them in "lawful matrimony" brought me out of my romantic spell. The Justice of the Peace who married them did not mention God; and all the fanfare that Fox could fake did nothing to ensure marital satisfaction.

"It’s all fun and games until…"
While I wish Rick and Darva all the best, I must repeat that "Who Wants to Marry" was a mockery of marriage. Marriage is not a game for television executives, millionaires or anyone else. Did the creative Mr. Darnell consider for a moment that marriage conceivably includes rearing children – the shaping of the conscience, values, religion, intelligence and self-esteem of little people who will grow up and have their own impact on the world? Did he consider the happiness and safety of Mr. Rockwell and the woman he would choose to marry? I doubt it. The program’s very conception was in the name of entertainment, viewer ratings and income. In a sense, Darnell’s philosophy worked: Ratings were very high, especially in the second hour, after "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" ended on ABC.

As if to prove my point about responsibility, less than a week after the show aired, a web site revealed that the blushing groom once had a restraining order issued against him when he was accused of hitting and threatening to kill an ex-girlfriend. Mr. Rockwell claims that the information is irrelevant, the soured relationship occurred ten years ago, and that no hard feelings remain on his part. Whatever the case, Darva did not have an opportunity to know this information before entering the contest. She and the other thousand applicants knew nothing about the mystery man, except that he was a multi-millionaire and that he wanted to be married.

As soon as the honeymoon was over, Darva appeared on "Good Morning America" saying that she "committed an error in judgment." Apparently the glamour before the wedding wore off quickly. "I was very uncomfortable around him," she explained to the watching world on February 23. "He's just not a person that I would ordinarily have a friendly relationship with."

She entered the show "on a lark." She never actually expected to be married that night, and when she was actually chosen, she recalls, "I wish I had the moral fortitude at that point to walk away." Personally, I wish that no one had ever suggested that marriage be considered as a form of entertainment!

What’s the point of marriage, again?
Before the news broke, Andrea Peyser defended the show in the New York Post, implying that this method of mating is no worse than any other: "What would you rather watch?" she asked, "‘Who Wants to Get Plastered in a Singles Bar and Picked Up By a Psychotic Stranger Named Ted?’ ‘Who Wants to Get Fixed Up With a Dweeb Handpicked By Your Mother and Harboring a Distinct Fondness For Her Clothes?’" She felt the show was honest about human desires for " sex, money, attention, security."

True, marriage satisfies these – and other – basic needs. But when marriage is desired solely as a means for that end, it proves as inadequate as any other attempt to find happiness apart from God. No matter what your television tells you, the word of God remains the same: "Seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness." Then all kinds of other good – but secondary – things will be granted to you. Attention, money and sex are most likely to be enjoyable when they are incidental to one primary goal – desire for relationship with and obedience to God.

One caveat: seeking the kingdom of God and righteousness may seriously impair your ability to enjoy television programs.