So you think you’re ready to go out into the grown-up world, huh? Guess again, boys and girls. Judging by the way you acted at your graduation—a lot of you, anyway—you still need to pass Good Manners 101.

I’m sure you know what I’m talking about; you tried hard enough to get everyone’s attention, after all. You knew all the media were there that day, inasmuch as one of your more prominent alums—a guy named George W. Bush—was getting an honorary degree. And just like you wanted, they told us all about it. As the Washington Post described the scene:

As Bush, in blue academic robes, accepted his award and rose to speak, the graduates raised a sea of yellow protest signs with slogans such as "Conservation, not Consumption," and "Execute Justice, not People." Students booed, hissed and heckled the president, and some turned their backs on him, made gagging sounds or shouted "Go Away!"

Now boys and girls, really. Do you honestly think you impressed anyone with that display? Do you plan to act like that on your job interviews? I don’t think so. I know you know how to behave yourselves. You did just fine the day before, when Hillary Clinton spoke to your class. Heck, you gave her a standing O.

Maybe you think that’s different because you like Hillary. I know all about your politics, of course; read in the Post how Bush trailed Ralph Nader in your campus’s presidential vote (Gore 49 percent, Nader 18, Bush 16). But that’s just the point. Good manners aren’t about being civil to the people you like; they’re about being civil to people you don’t. (Another word for that, by the way, is tolerance. You ought to have heard it by now, but I’ll bet you never looked up the definition; it means "sympathy or indulgence for beliefs and practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own.")

Or maybe you think you get to act this way because your profs do it too. I gotta admit, I see where you got that idea. I read how somewhere between 170 and 200 of them (the number varied in different stories) boycotted graduation because of Mr. Bush. And I imagine you’ve spent four years hearing them sneer about him and others of his political stripe. Maybe you think that’s just how things are done.

But I’ve got news for you, and I hope it doesn’t come as too big a shock. The rest of the world thinks people who act that way are jerks, and if professors do it, they’re just jerks with Ph.Ds. Let me go back to the Post one more time, where a letter from one Michael Kalk of Austin, Texas, sums it up:

What were 170 Yale professors trying to prove by boycotting President Bush’s appearance at Yale’s 2001 commencement?

Perhaps these sages really believe that turning social occasions into political melodrama is a sign of moral engagement rather than petulant self-importance. It certainly gives lie to the claim that academic tenure has turned universities into oases of tolerance and diversity. Instead, they lag behind most every other sector of society at abiding genuine differences.

The professors are teaching their students that they should get all sulky and obnoxious when someone who doesn’t share their views takes the stage. And judging from the outburst of feigned indignation with which the students greeted Mr. Bush’s appearance, they’re doing a pretty good job.

Yes, it’s true; that really is how you look to the rest of the country. And yes, folks in Texas (Texas!) think the denizens of progressive New Haven are downright backward in the tolerance department. Now aren’t you embarrassed?

Look, I’m telling you this for your own good, though I admit there’s some self-interest on my part; I really don’t want to be subjected to any more sulky and obnoxious people if I can help it. But you’re going to benefit by this advice too, trust me. Once you get out into the world you’ll find that obnoxiousness is one thing most people won’t put up with. Honest differences of opinion, yes (well, more or less). Intentional, in-your-face offensiveness, no. They won’t care where you got your degree. They may even hold it against you — especially if future Yalies (profs and students) keep acting the way you just did.

Enough already; you’re bright boys and girls, according to your transcripts, so by now you get the point. If not, I’ll see you next year in Remedial Good Manners 101. Please leave your protest signs at home, and no heckling.