The show features 20 beautiful women who are told they’re competing for the love of multi-millionaire Evan Wallace, 28. Wallace, who’s tall, dark and handsome, supposedly inherited $50 million. He romances the women at a French chateau and Paris hotspots and woos them with fancy balls and jewelry. And as the show progresses, the women are pared down to one unfortunate “winner” who will be told the truth — Evan is actually a construction worker making an annual salary of $19,000. “Will the women really fall in love with Evan or the money he doesn’t have?” asks Evan’s butler and etiquette coach Paul Hogan.

Of course, we’ll see plenty of extreme close-ups as the final girl realizes that she’s been emotionally betrayed. She’ll find out that the castle she’s been staying in has been a lie. That Evan doesn’t really dress in designer clothes and discuss fine wines. That he’d rather be watching TV and eating pizza from a box than partying in Paris at the Moulin Rouge. He’s just an average, everyday Joe. We’ll all be watching to judge her decision, which will be chatted about and analyzed on talk shows, the Internet and People magazine.

The show operates under a logical fallacy known as the excluded middle. We’re supposed to believe that there are only two extreme options to explain the finalist’s acceptance or rejection of the charade: love or money. If she rejects him, then she was a gold-digger, only interested in his cash. If she throws her arms around him, she genuinely cares about him as a person, despite the fact that ordering pizza may be his idea of dining out. The fallacy doesn’t allow for any middle ground. Could it be possible that she’s intrigued by Evan, and interested in him, but resents the fact that he’s lied to her? One of the women, Sarah, has already shared her convictions on lying: “I won’t compromise honesty. I won’t date someone dishonest, at all. Bottom line, like no excuses, I don’t date a liar.” If Sarah lasts the longest, but rejects Evan out of her commitment to honesty, will she be respected for her decision? Whether or not the show’s premise makes sense doesn’t seem to matter to viewers, many who have likely heard that Evan himself is being presented in a false light.

Numerous media reports have made it known that Evan, whose real name is Evan Marriott, is not just a beer-drinker in torn flannel shirts and hole-filled jeans. In reality, Evan is the son of a bank vice president and a mother who manages a linen boutique. He modeled part time in New York City, and has acted on Days of Our Lives. This doesn’t mean Evan is wealthy, but it also isn’t consistent with the blue-collar existence he claims. So essentially, Joe Millionaire is not only lying to the women; it’s lying to the viewers too. It’s not what anyone bargained for when they decided to watch this “reality” TV show.

Lying is Joe Millionaire’s top theme, with greed coming in a close second. Which is sad considering the show’s façade — that it is interested in true love. In a country where most marriages end in divorce, emphasizing these vices is no way to form a healthy relationship. As would be expected from a group of 20 women (especially 20 women willing to pursue a relationship in front of TV cameras), some on Joe Millionaire have an eye for a bank account. “With men, I know exactly what I want and money definitely plays into the equation, because the more of it you have the more fun you can have,” one girl says. “Do I want a man who has money? Of course!” says another.

The way some of the women are depicted makes it easy to mock them as we watch. They all giggle, squirm and squeal with delight when they’re told that Evan is worth $50 million. And when they receive jewelry from him, the indicator that he’s selected them to move on to the next round, they gush over it. But the aim of the show is to weed out the greedy girls, so the ones remaining are those who aren’t interested in money. This makes the premise especially cruel. To describe the final five girls, Evan used words like: smart and sophisticated, witty and spunky, great personality, nice and sweet. It wouldn’t be surprising if Evan’s final selection will be a quality woman who really cares for him. The illusion will be shattered when she finds he’s her biggest betrayer. Reality TV isn’t known for its humanity, but is this any way to treat a person?

This sick twist, that the girl finds out she’s been living a lie, is the main draw of Joe Millionaire and one shamelessly promoted by Fox. The show hooks us by giving us an opportunity to judge and mock these women based on how they react to his money. And it is tempting to judge the girls. How many viewers have had these kinds of thoughts going through our heads while watching “Joe Millionaire?” Heidi is soooo obviously a control freak who’s just out to win the competition. I mean, did you see her hogging the gowns before the ball? And Alison? Oh my, Alison has soooo got issues with guys. It’s like she’s afraid of being in love! And what about that hostess? Is she some robot they trot in to show the advancements in artificial intelligence?

It’s easy to mock, make fun of, laugh at, roll our eyes at, get bugged by and even despise the attitudes of people on reality TV. Allowing viewers to compare themselves to everyday people — and judge them — is a big part of what makes reality TV so popular. After all, the actors and actresses on typical TV shows are so beautiful and refined, they make viewers feel like duds in comparison. But on reality TV, everyday people get to see how they stack up against each other. Internet chat rooms buzz all week leading up to the shows, discussing the attributes and flaws of different characters, then continue with chatter throughout the broadcast.

Judging the girls on Joe Millionaire is clearly unpleasant to the girls and guy on the show, but with the epidemic popularity of reality TV shows the detrimental effects of deeming others worthy or insignificant has farther reaching effects. It’s also harmful to viewers and to our society as a whole. When we relish judging others who we know nothing about we lose our ability to empathize with them, care for them and we cease being compassionate. Habits we nurture on TV also thrive in real life, to the detriment of real relationships.

These realities presents a particular challenge to Christian viewers, who, if we’re striving to live according to the words of Jesus Christ, have a high calling in our attitudes toward other people. Compassionate love for others is supposed to be the hallmark of the Christian life, and the way people who aren’t followers of Christ will distinguish Christians from others. Jesus said in John 13:34-35, “I give you a new commandment; love one another; just as I have loved you, you also must love one another. By this love you have for one another, everyone will know that you are my disciples.”

The scary thing about Joe Millionaire isn’t that it exists; it’s that tens of millions of Americans jeer as the show promotes lies in the name of love. Now, network executives have more in store for us. A recent story on globeandmail.com reports that ABC executives are so high from the success of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette that they’re planning a slew of new reality shows. They include a search for America’s sexiest people, called Are You Hot? and another called Extreme Makeover, where regular folks get plastic surgery, dentistry and hair and clothes makeovers to change their looks.

Each show has to be more outrageous than the ones before it, which makes me wonder, will things ever get sick enough that people stop watching? It reminds me of the Stephen King story, The Running Man (also a movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger), which featured a TV game show where criminals were hunted and killed by assassins. In the story, the game show’s wild popularity was implicitly used to justify its existence.

Considering the direction of reality TV, King’s premise is starting to seem less and less outrageous. And if we’re watching, we can easily become accomplices, not just to how people are treated on reality TV, but also to the ruin of empathy and compassion in our society.