Dear Professor Theophilus:

I asked my brother a question about a book I was reading, and he said that you would answer it better than he could. The book said that if you follow Christ you will have an abundant life. But would you rather have an abundant life full of persecution or a normal life with no persecution?

Reply:

The purpose of life is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. That's what we were made for; it's why God made us in His image. No other life is worth a peanut compared with that, and it's worth all the persecution that the world can dish out. People talk about "finding themselves"; well, Christ has already found us, and the only place we can really find ourselves is in Him. He is greater than suffering. Even in the shadow of death, God is there. That's what Jesus meant when He said "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (John 10:10, RSV).

Besides, when you say "life," I think you mean this life — before you die. That's only the smallest sliver of our real life. We will live forever — longer than suns, longer than galaxies. Think of the greatest joy you can imagine; forever with God is better yet. If we have suffered persecution for Him before death, He will wipe every tear from our eyes. But now think of the greatest despair and loneliness you can imagine; forever without God is worse. You see, if you say "No" to Christ, "No" to friendship with your Maker, "No" to the fulfillment of your own nature as an image of God, the terrible thing is that you will get what you ask for.

Have you ever heard Jesus' parable about the Pearl of Great Price? It's in Matthew 13, beginning at verse 45, and it's only a few sentences long. Jesus asks us to think of a pearl merchant. The man is looking for fine pearls to buy, no doubt so that he can sell them at a higher price and make a profit. One day he finds a glorious pearl, more beautiful and valuable than any pearl he has ever seen. Nothing can compare with it. He sells everything he has just to buy that wonderful pearl, and instead of selling it again, he keeps it. That's what the Abundant Life is like. To understand it is to realize that nothing else can compare with it. Its value is greater than any price we can imagine — greater than blood, greater than tears, greater than persecution. The only sensible thing is to give up whatever we have to in order to get it.

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

AMBUSHED BY DOUBT

Dear Professor Theophilus:

Although I have considered myself a Christian for many years, for most of this time I was a "pseudo-Christian." I had only a fuzzy faith that I really didn't have to back up. During the past year or so this has changed. I can honestly say that I love Jesus and try to emulate Him in every way I can.

Then, just this week, I got news that my uncle is dying. He has literally drunk himself under. It's no real surprise to any of the family. Thinking it was time for him to turn himself around, I picked up a copy of Lee Strobel's The Case For Christ for him — and then it hit me. Doubt . . . after doubt . . . after doubt. Suddenly my own faith was assaulted in a large way. I've read a lot of apologetics and found most of it pretty good, but certain things are dogging me.

In the book by Norman L. Geisler and Paul K. Hoffman called
Why I Am A Christian, I read your chapter entitled "Why I Am Not an Atheist." You talked about the long form of suicide, saying that in your atheist days, "There was no need to bother with the taking of poison or the slashing of wrists, because it was all going on in my mind. In one long, interminable prolongation of nightfall, the light went out and went out and went out, all without the inconvenience of physical death." I've got to tell you that right now, I feel like that. My family is looking at me funny and wondering why I'm acting so strange, but I really don't want to open this up to them. They couldn't help in this case, so I'm masking it as best I can.

I truly desire Christ and need to know if what I'm reading weekly in the Bible is fact, not just embellishment or character building. Thanks so much.

Reply:

My dear, take heart: You are experiencing a relatively normal attack of doubt. It feels worse than it is because it's your first time and you didn't expect it. I think you will find, though, that it is your faith that is reasonable and rational, not the doubt.

In the unpublished version of my original reply, I addressed the specific doubts that you mentioned in the unpublished version of your letter. Of course, different people experience different doubts. But there is also something universal in what you tell me, something that other readers will recognize even if their doubts are different from yours. I talked about that with you too, and that is what I want to talk about here.

 What you are experiencing is something that many new or newly-serious Christians experience. For some, doubt strikes immediately after conversion. For others, it strikes the moment they begin trying to lead a godly life. For still others, like you, it happens the first time they are called to go out on a limb — the first time they are called to do something which may make a difference to the life of someone else. Like your uncle.

There are two reasons why new Christians sometimes suffer this experience. One reason is the nervousness which is natural after big decisions. After all, there is no bigger decision than following Christ. Real estate agents call such nervousness "buyer's remorse" because a lot of home buyers start worrying that the house is no good the moment they sign the mortgage papers. Newly engaged and newly married people sometimes feel panicky too. This passes. Trust me.

The second reason is that the Adversary hates your faith. There was no need to attack it before, because it was so fuzzy. As soon as you began to take it seriously, he tried to blast it. But you're not helpless; this is an opportunity to exercise your faith muscles. Pray — and bear in mind that the mere fact that you can think of an objection to faith doesn't mean that you actually have good reason to abandon it! One can always think of objections; if I try, I can think of a dozen reasons why I might be hallucinating, or why my wife might be having an affair. But do I have good reason to abandon my trust in my senses, my memory, or my wife? No.

Of course you're right to seek out the answers to your specific questions. Yours were about the historical evidence for the resurrection of Jesus Christ — a topic which has come up in this column before — and I was glad to help you with them. Keep seeking, but don't shut out your church and the Christian members of your family from your distress. The Christian life is not a solitary life, and they may be far more help than you think, in ways you can't foresee.

In the meantime, go on serving Christ. Go ahead and visit your uncle. Talk with him. Love him. Take him the book. The very act of doing so will open the shutters in the shadowed room of doubt. Paralysis is the Adversary's ploy.

Finally, remember that faith is not the feeling of trust, but trust. You can go on living your faith even if from time to time the feelings seem to sputter. God will bless you for doing so, and some day you will be giving advice to someone who is struggling with doubt. After you've come through this attack, you'll be a battle veteran. Read what Paul says about spiritual warfare in Ephesians 6, and strap on the full armor of faith. Go with God, soldier.

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON

Dear Professor Theophilus:

My question is simple: where do you derive your belief that the Christian faith has any power? I've read the Bible for years, but I simply see no power present in Christians that I don't see among non-Christians. For example, it seems that Christian males can't stop using pornography and masturbating to save their lives; you'd think it was a prerequisite for faith. It's amazing to me that they say "Our God is an awesome God" while they can wallow in an addiction that God doesn't help.

That was my own situation, and a big reason for my letting go of Christianity. Thankfully, now that I am out of it, I experience far less desire (almost none, actually) for any of these activities. My true desire is for intimacy, just as a Christian's "should" be.

Furthermore, Christianity laid upon me a huge weight of guilt. I couldn't continue to sin, with full knowledge that I was sinning, and yet ask forgiveness. If I am going to sin (which happens every day), I might as well remove the guilt.

Now that I'm in the driver's seat, yes, I fail miserably every day, but there is no Christ sitting there telling the parable of the foolish virgins or the wasted talents; no Christ saying "I do not come to condemn the world" while simultaneously condemning those who should know better and yet do not act upon their knowledge.

I am by no means a good man; I'm really quite a jerk whose alcohol intake is (consciously) increasing weekly. However, I see no power in the Scriptures, no power in Christianity, and no power in anything having to do with the Faith that isn't readily available to me by other means. In fact, I'm beginning to think that I see less.

Thank you for your time, consideration, and help. My Christmas list last year had Wisdom, Judgment, Knowledge, and Understanding on it, and I hope you will help impart a little bit of each to me.

Reply:

Thanks for your letter. Your question is why I believe that Christian faith has power to deliver someone from bondage to sin and guilt. I wouldn't put it quite that way. Christ is the one with the power to deliver us, and faith is merely the means by which He brings us to Himself. What faith means is trusting with our whole heart and mind that He, and no one else, can deliver us. It isn't faith that delivers, but Christ who delivers; therefore we need faith in Christ.

The reason I believe that He has this power is that innumerable witnesses have testified to it. First are the witnesses in Scripture and Christian tradition. Far less in authority, but closer to me, are the witnesses among people whom I know. Last and least, I guess, is me. I too once abandoned Him, and if you had known me before I returned to Him, you wouldn't have believed that He could deliver me either.

Yet I don't think that why I believe these things is your real question. Let me tell you how I read your letter.

1) You say that before abandoning Christ, you had already sunk into compulsive masturbation, use of pornography, and abuse of alcohol.

2) You say that since abandoning Christ you are "in the driver's seat" and now experience "far less desire" for any of these things. However, these statements are contradicted by your later confession that your alcohol intake is actually increasing week by week. Plainly you are in trouble, and you are not in the driver's seat at all.

3) The statements are also contradicted by the reason you give for abandoning Christ — if you were going to go on sinning, you say, then you might as well not feel guilty about it. The intention, then, was to go on sinning. If that was your intention, why complain to Him that you carried it out?

4) Moreover, you haven't really escaped from the sense of guilt. Your letter is full of self-justifications, some of them quite absurd. I'm thinking, for example, of your claim that every Christian male is in bondage to pornography and masturbation. Nobody works that hard to justify himself unless he knows he needs to.

5) The reason that abandoning Christ didn't release you from the sense of guilt is that Christ wasn't your accuser in the first place; your conscience was. The burden you escaped when you abandoned Christ was His very offer of forgiveness, and the reason it was a burden was that you refused to repent and accept it.

6) The further you run from the source of help, the more you need to deny that He can help you. The further your life spins out of control, the more you need to believe that you are in the driver's seat, adequate to save yourself.

And so when you ask me why I believe that Christ has the power to deliver a man like you from bondage, I read in your words an arrogant challenge combined with a desperate plea. The challenge is "Christ didn't help me before. Give me one good reason to believe that He can help me now!" The plea is "With my back to Christ, I can't see Him any more. Please tell me, is He really there?"

As to the plea: Yes, He's really there, but you can't see Him unless you turn around. You need to be authentically sorry, which is different from just feeling guilty. You need to abandon your claim to self-ownership and control, turning yourself over to Him. And you need to reverse course, fleeing from your sin instead of into it. If you don't yet want to turn around, then at least begin wanting to want to. Implore Christ with all your heart to make you want to. Ask Him to have His way with you at last. Be patient; pray persistently. You have been hardening your heart for a long time, and it may take Him time to soften it.

As to the challenge: I can well believe that Christ didn't help you before, because whatever you may have told yourself at the time, the fact is that you did not yet want His help. Make no mistake, being healed is a laborious process. You may fall, repent, and be picked up, fall, repent, and be picked up, many times before you begin to feel His strength flowing into your legs. On the way, there may be pain, and there may be humiliating discoveries. But you have to begin.

I foresee that one of the most difficult things for you may be returning to Christian fellowship. Just as you don't want to acknowledge your dependence on Christ, you may find it hard to confess your need of help to other Christians. But the Church is the Ark in which Christ pilots us over the flood. You can either enter in, or drown.

 When you asked on your Christmas list for a little bit of Wisdom, Judgment, Knowledge, and Understanding, you were asking someone; it must have been the Lord. If you accept such little bits as He sends, then He will send more.

Postscript:

After receiving my reply, you wrote back "I agree that my own heart convicted me, but I did not see in Christ an offer of forgiveness. I grant that this has a huge chance of being faulty, and I will conduct research to test my claim."

If you didn't see in Christ an offer of forgiveness, try these! "Come unto me, all ye that travail and are heavy laden, and I will refresh you" (Matthew 11:28). "God so loved the world, that He gave His only-begotten Son, to the end that all that believe in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). "This is a true saying, and worthy of all men to be received, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners" (1 Timothy 1:15). "If any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous; and He is the perfect offering for our sins, and not for ours only, but for the sins of the whole world" (1 John 2:1-2).

I liked the ending to your second letter. You explained that it was your parents whom you had asked for Wisdom, Judgment, Knowledge, and Understanding. "They are Christians," you said, "so I'm sure that the Lord has been asked. I have not said in my heart, 'There is no God,' so there is still hope." My advice to you is to act on it.

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

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