WANTED: RELIGION PROFESSOR. MUST BE IRRELIGIOUS.

I'd like to know why there are two different versions of the creation story in Genesis. We studied creation myths in one of my English classes, and my professor said that the two different versions prove that the Bible is myth. I was just hoping that you could offer some clarification.

Your professor is not a logical thinker. Believers have always recognized that there are two versions of the creation story. If the two versions were contradictory — for example, if one version said that God made Man in His image but the other version denied it — then your professor might have a case, but that's clearly not what we find, for the two versions are complementary rather than contradictory. Each contributes its own insights.

The first one, Genesis 1:1-2:3, focuses on creation in general. It makes clear that God is the Creator, that there is no other Creator, that He was pleased by His creation, and that He made Man (both male and female) in His image. The second one, Genesis 2:4-2:25, expands upon the idea of Man being made in God's image. It emphasizes the original harmony not only between God and humanity, but also between male and female humanity. The sequel, Genesis 3:1-3:24, explains how the first human beings, through rebellion against their Creator, lost both kinds of harmony, bringing terrible consequences upon themselves and all their descendants.

I can't help reflecting that whenever I give directions to my house, I give two versions — one focussing on the names of the roads, the other on distances and landmarks. Sometimes I even give a third — "Now if you get lost, do this." By your professor's reasoning, I guess that proves that my house is a myth too.

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

WHICH HOOK DO YOU MEAN?

My girlfriend and I had sex. Exodus 22:13 states "if a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife (NIV)." Umm ... I want to do what God wants, but if she was physically not a virgin before I did my deed, would I be off the hook?

Exodus 22:13 does not apply to our society because it was a Hebrew civil regulation, not a universal moral law. That doesn't let you off the hook, however, because the moral principle behind this civil regulation does apply to you. You may not be obligated by Old Testament law to marry the girl, but you have taken something from her which you can never give back, and I think you need to repent of your legalistic attitude and give serious and prayerful thought to how you can make that up to her. In the meantime, because both of you have committed a serious sin, both of you must also repent. You say you want to do what God wants, but you don't mention being sorry that you didn't.

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

ASEXUAL COHABITATION

I live with my fiancé and our son. We realize we must repent for being sexually intimate, but now we are abstaining from sex until we are married some months from now. Although my fiancé is not the biological father, my son calls him Daddy, and there are a lot of emotions involved. Is it wrong to live together if we are not having sex? It doesn't seem right to separate a family that loves each other so much. Does God see this as okay so long as we abstain from sex? Please direct me to Scripture.

Yes, it's wrong to live together outside of marriage even if you are trying to remain abstinent. Either marry now, or live apart. You have already discovered one of the reasons: To live together but not have sex together is nearly impossible. The other reason is that cohabitation sets a bad example for your son. You don't want him to grow up to repeat your mistakes, do you? It also sets him up for a fall if the relationship collapses — as relationships like this often do. Be kind to the little guy by making a holy home for him.

By the way, don't think that you can hold onto the young man by living with him. Living together is a recipe for disaster. It doesn't increase the likelihood that you'll marry — and it makes the relationship worse even if you do eventually marry. Think: You are practicing for a life without commitment.

You ask me to direct you to Scripture. How about "It is better to marry than to burn"? That's from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians (7:9).

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

COULD ANY MAN LOVE ME?

I want nothing more than to be a wife and mother. Not just any wife and mother, but a committed, God-fearing wife and a mother who stays home with her kids and gives her whole life to them. I want lots of children (at least six) and want to homeschool them like my mother did, because I believe children are a wonderful blessing from God. I believe this is what God has called me to, and I'm trying to be patient and wait for God to bring me the husband who he has chosen just for me, but I get so anxious that it will never happen and what I want most will never come. I'm overweight and I don't think I'm very pretty — I can't imagine God would put this desire in me if he didn't plan on making it happen, but I can't imagine ANY man wanting to marry me, much less a wonderful Christian man who has the same values I have. I feel so alone and almost desperate. It's hard to trust God with something so huge. Any advice would be appreciated.

Be at peace about this, my dear. If God intends you to marry, then if you remain patient and obedient it will happen — because it depends not on your small power, but on His omnipotence Providence. On the other hand, if you remain patient and obedient yet find that you remain unmarried, it will have been His will — and He will give you the ability to rejoice in that will, because He always gives us exactly the grace we need to serve Him.

Of course I don't know whether He does intend marriage for you, but a tendency to plumpness does not hinder Him. Look around at the married couples you know; clearly, lots of men find plump women appealing. Of course we should all eat moderately. But if you practice moderation, you have no health disorder, and you are plump anyway, relax and don't worry about it. Trust God; you are the apple of His eye. As Paul says (1 Timothy 2:8-10), the most beautiful adornment is good deeds.

Just an afterthought. Have you read the novel of C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces? I think you might enjoy it.

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

LET US DO EVIL THAT GOOD MAY RESULT

I am currently taking a neuroanatomy course, and part of the material covers ethical issues in neurology. One such issue raised by our lecturer was the idea of using fetal tissue for neural grafting into terminally ill patients. The tissue used is from aborted fetuses, and usually three or four fetuses are required to get enough cells for one transplant. What do you think about the issue? I know that abortion is morally repugnant, but is the use of aborted fetal tissue in such transplant ethical?

Good question. To see how to approach it, consider another question of the same kind. Suppose a murderer offered to provide a hospital a steady supply of body parts, cut from his victims, for people who needed transplants. Should the hospital take him up on his offer? Of course not, and the fact that it would be "for a good cause" would make no difference. The purchase would not only be wrong in itself, but would provide the murderer with a financial incentive to commit even more murders.

The use of tissue from aborted babies for medical research is equally wrong, and for exactly the same reasons. When people suggest to us, "Let us do evil, that good may result," we must always refuse, as Paul did in Romans 3:8.

A good resource for people concerned about this issue is Do No Harm: The Coalition of Americans for Research Ethics. For bioethics issues generally, visit the website of the Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity.

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

A TOUCHING STORY

Here goes. My boyfriend and I kiss. According to my friends, my family, and the media, no big deal — and for a while, it hasn't been. I asked not to kiss at the beginning of the relationship, and we didn't. After a lot of soul-searching we did, and we slipped up — because we let it continue onto other stuff. We've repented and got over that, but now my boyfriend is asking me not to kiss him or hold him. He says I'm tempting him. I would love to give all that up, but I'm a "toucher" — I thrive on contact — and it is a continual struggle not to touch him. Do you have any advice? I just long to leave it at the foot of the cross.

You and your boyfriend are avoiding the activities that tempt you to lose control: So far, so good. The problem is that he puts kissing and holding in the category of "too tempting," and you find it hard to express normal affection without touching at all. I don't see why that's a problem, because a very great distance separates "kissing and holding" from "no contact at all." You can honor his wise caution and still satisfy your touching nature.

To give but a single example, you can couple your arms as you walk together. The custom seems to have died out, so let me explain how it's done. Suppose your beau is on the left and you're on the right. He bends his right arm, just enough to give you something to hang onto. You slip your left hand around his arm, hanging onto it just above the elbow and just below the biceps. It's comfortable, it's not at all likely to tempt you to lose control, yet couples who do it find it quite romantic.

Think of all the different kinds of light and non-arousing contact that can be indulged even by modest people in public: a squeeze of the beloved's hand, a momentary touch of the fingers to the beloved's cheek, and so forth. All of these honor your boyfriend's request, and I think they'll satisfy your "touching" nature without putting either of you at risk of going further. What if they don't satisfy you? Then that complaining voice you hear is not your "touching" nature — it's your sex drive.

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

A STICKY QUESTION

I have a question about the Office Hours column "Sex at the Edge of Night." How does a person make the tape sticky again?

I don't think that the tape can be made sticky again through human effort alone. God can do it, but it's important to understand that He does not promise to do so — just as He does not promise to cure syphilis. I do know of some cases in which, by His grace, the tape regained some of its stickiness. Does He ever make it as sticky as it was at the beginning? I don't know. I doubt it. The forgiveness of repented sins cancels out every bit of their guilt, but it does not cancel out every bit of their other consequences.

In every case that I know in which the tape did regain some of its stickiness, a long period of convalescence was required. And no wonder. We must desire holiness even more than we desire stickiness. We must learn not merely abstinence, but purity. We must long even more for Him to change our wants, than for Him to give us our wants. And we must be satisfied to be healed on His schedule, not on ours.

Christ promises that in heaven every tear will be wiped away, but in this life some tears remain even in the midst of our joys. To wipe them away too soon might not be good for us, and He acts only for our good. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS