I'm not used to feeling thankful toward Chris Rock. Disgusted, appalled, revolted, sure, simply because the guy's so famously foulmouthed. But now, I have to admit, there's gratitude in the mix too.

This is going to take a little explaining.

I assume you know something about Rock. (In a nutshell: stand- up comic, does movies and TV specials, just hosted the Oscars.) A few weeks ago some media outlets picked up on his history of — how shall we put this delicately? — colorful remarks on a variety of subjects, including the sexual orientation of male Oscars viewers. Not surprisingly, a bit of controversy ensued.

We'll skip over most of what Rock said; it's got (surprise) lots of obscenities, and anyway, it's beside the point for this column. One part, however, is worth noting, and that's his comments on a subject few people try to mine humor from: abortion.

"Abortion, it's beautiful, it's beautiful abortion is legal," Rock said on an HBO special last year. "I love going to an abortion rally to pick up women, 'cause you know they are ..." — well, let's do a little editing here and (as one article I've seen has suggested) use the current euphemism "sexually active."

Feeling disgusted, appalled, revolted? I know I am. But not chiefly by Chris Rock (except for the gutter language). What's really disgusting is the culture of abortion and promiscuity — and it appears Rock's not celebrating that culture, but blasting it.

That, at least, is what people who've seen his routine (some of them pro-lifers) say. Dorinda Bordlee of the legal group Americans United for Life says he's using satire "to show that abortion on demand has made women more into sex objects than we've ever been." And an article in the online magazine Slate backs up Bordlee's assessment:

Far from an encomium to fetus killing, Rock's abortion bit is an attack on women for the frivolous manner in which they decide whether or not to keep a child. "When a woman gets pregnant, it's a choice between the woman" — here Rock pauses, a mischievous grin barely restrained — "and her girlfriends." From there: "One girlfriend goes, 'Child, you should have that baby — that man got some good hair...' And the other girlfriend says, 'Child, why we even talking about this — ain't we supposed to go to Cancun next week? Get rid of that baby!' " And that, Rock says, "is how life is decided in America."

Wow. "Life," "baby," and unconcealed contempt for people who approach the issue casually or selfishly. From Chris Rock. Who would've expected it? If nothing else, it's sure refreshing.

What's more, Rock seems to be consistent about this message; reportedly he's been using it in his act since the early 90s. One can only imagine some members of his audience squirming uneasily each time they hear that bit. (And maybe some of his others too. "To all the women who leave their kids at home so they can pop some bubbly at the club," Slate notes, "Rock has this advice: 'Go take care of those kids before they rob me in 10 years.' ")

Look, don't get me wrong. Of course I don't want to hold up an oft-raunchy comedian as the ultimate role model on how to talk about abortion. Of course there's a lot more to the subject than can be summed up in wisecracks. Of course not all girls who consider abortion do so frivolously, and many agonize over it (precisely because they know, deep down in their hearts, just how wrong it is). Of course any full Christian treatment of the issue has to include not just the evil of abortion itself but the forgiveness of God. Obviously, you won't find all that in Chris Rock's stand-up routine.

That said, I think Rock has done a public service. At least he's talking frankly about the motives that, in the real world, drive much of our society's embrace of "abortion rights."

For years, polls have shown that young men support legalized abortion more than women do. Why? Well, we could pretend there's some complex sociological explanation, but really, the answer is obvious: It's occurred to millions of young men that they need abortion as an escape hatch if they're to be (to use the euphemism again) "sexually active."

This would seem to be obviously sleazy on its face. But ironically, feminists have handed them the perfect excuse: They're "pro-choice" simply because they respect "women's rights:" They wouldn't dream of telling a woman "what to do with her own body." They get to use women and say they're honoring them at the same time. (As a columnist named Kathleen Howley once wrote, "You can bet that many of them are pretty adroit at telling a woman what to do with her body, if it happens to serve their needs.")

This isn't to let women off the hook. If (as a group) they're less driven by lust than young men are, they're also more likely to use sex for other reasons, primarily to get men to fill their emotional or financial desires. By and large, they're not helpless victims; some are skillful manipulators. While many women like to blame men for pretty much everything that's wrong in their lives, the truth is that there's plenty of blame to go around.

In talking about this, I don't want to encourage the cynical view that there aren't many good men or women left, or that the sexes should be constantly eying each other suspiciously, wondering what dirty tricks the other gender is planning. (Some day I'll get around to writing a column on just what's wrong with that mentality.) But in the world of "sexually active" (unmarried) people, frankly, that's the way things commonly are. And that's the world where most abortions take place.

Everyone knows the motives that are widely in play in that world, and contrary to the high-sounding rhetoric about "choice" and "rights," those motives (to put it mildly) aren't noble. In fact; when you get right down to it, they're pretty shameful. Yet the fact that everyone knows this is exactly why hardly anyone will say it. It's one of those unwritten-rule things, where everyone agrees that "I won't mention it if you won't." Too many people have a stake in denying what's going on. A crude comedian who likes to make waves is one of the few people who don't mind blowing the whistle.

Interestingly, even pro-lifers are reluctant to speak bluntly about these motives. I think that's because pro-lifers know their message meets with strong resistance as it is. They want to be winsome, so they don't want to come down very hard on the people they're trying to reach, especially when talking to people they know and care about.

I understand that concern; I think it's an important consideration. But there's such a thing as tough love, and there are times when it's the only kind of love that fits. When we treat people as if they're patients needing therapy instead of responsible moral agents, we're teaching them that morality is trivial. When we treat them as if they're not really sinners against God's Law — not serious sinners, anyway — we encourage them in the worst kind of sin (pride) and breed complacency over their need for the Gospel.

God will make sure someone does the job of telling harsh moral truths; He can even use a guy like Chris Rock. But that's supposed to be our job, and we should step up to the plate and do it the right way — with strength and with love.

And, incidentally, without all the cussing.