|
A few years back, I developed an obsession with the Pottery Barn
catalogue. I'd spend evenings with it, memorizing the spreads,
fantasizing about the day I could buy one of their $2,000
cranberry sofas to replace our mismatched hand-me-downs.
Some part of me believed that cash translated to cozy, that I
could buy my way home.
Apparently, I am not alone. According to Daniel Pink's book,
A Whole New Mind, ambiance is an increasingly hot
commodity. Take lighting, for example. Electricity is relatively
cheap and widely available, yet each year Americans spend more
than $2.4 billion on candles. Pink believes candles are big
business "for reasons that stretch beyond the logical need for
luminosity to a prosperous nation's inchoate desire for beauty
and transcendence."
These desires also translate into a deluge of information. I
recently came across Cheryl Mendelson's 896-page book
Home Comforts, which begins with her confession: "I
am a working woman with a secret life: I keep house." She then
goes on to detail every dilemma a homemaker might encounter,
from what laundry temperature our whites require to how to
exist peacefully with microbes.
I'm not in Mendelson's league when it comes to housework. The
first time we moved, I forgot to empty the grounds in the
coffeepot, and when we reached Portland, the soggy grounds
resembled a stinky green sea anemone. By the time we left
Oregon, four years later, we had accumulated a closet of
newspapers. On that last night, as the clock struck twelve, we
were standing on our exterior porch, chucking armloads of
newspapers into the recycling bin below.
Generally speaking, domestication has not come naturally, which
may be why Victoria Moran's Shelter for the Spirit
captured me. Moran doesn't buy into the retail myth: she
believes that making a home is about learning to live faithfully in
your space, ordering your environment in a serene and
hospitable way. She explores the spiritual dimensions of
homemaking, manifest in the concrete, everyday details like
cleaning, cooking and entertaining. The book isn't explicitly
Christian, but the work as a whole was an epiphany for me.
According to Moran, we need not wait until we own homes to
begin the work of homemaking. "This is your home," she writes,
"Whether you own it, rent it, or were born into it. Home is where
you go to refuel -- physically, emotionally and spiritually. You
no more need to own the house for this personal refueling than
you need to own the service station to get gas."
Here are a few basic tips for turning your dwelling space -- be it
high rise apartment, chrome trailer or bungalow -- into a
home.
Seeing What's There
I'm always tempted to see what isn't there instead of what is. I
think this temptation is common, and is experienced both
materially and relationally. We may say to ourselves, "I'll make a
home when I get married or when we have a child or when we
finally own a house."
Moran offers this word of caution: "Between the desire and
fulfillment, there may be days or years of living. If you believe
that having a ‘real home' depends on having someone or
something you don't have, you deny yourself much of the joy
available in your home today."
The work of making a home begins with the simple act of
learning to see what you already have -- asking God to open
your eyes to the unique blessings of your space, be it the way
the afternoon light spills onto your reading chair, the breeze
that comes into your bedroom windows, the sound and scent of
coffee brewing in the morning. All these things are part of grace
you inhabit now.
Keep it Tidy
It is impossible to fully see what you have when your sink is
overflowing with two weeks' worth of dishes. Years ago a friend
of mine introduced me to "Good Enough Housekeeping." This
concept protects me from Martha Stewart burn-out. I have fairly
modest goals for myself with rewards built in to them. For
example, just before I sit down at my computer, I start a pot of
coffee. While the pot is brewing, I race around the house doing a
quick pick-up. I only allow myself to clean until the coffee pot
beeps. Then I sit down to work in a tidy space with my steaming
mug of java.
I never thought I'd admit this (and my mother might email my
editor contesting this next statement) but I'm starting to enjoy
the simple work of wiping down the counter, loading the
dishwasher and making the beds. This mindless work can be
soothing and prayerful. I understand, now, why monks and nuns
don't spend all their time praying in church. They weed the fields
and chop carrots in the kitchen not just for physical
nourishment, but for spiritual nourishment as well. "In the mud
and scum of things," Emerson wrote, "Always something sings."
Let There Be Light
One of the cheapest ways to make an environment more
pleasing is to adjust the lights (hence the candle craze). Lamps
are more calming than overhead lights, and cool florescent
lights make any space feel like my seventh grade biology lab. I'd
rather grope through almost total darkness than flip on an
overhead florescent tube.
If you don't like a room, try flipping off the overhead light and
using lamps instead. Experiment with different types of light
until you find the bulb or lamp most flattering to your home. A
little bit of light goes a long way toward making a space inviting.
Entertain
When I was a child, I loved falling asleep to the sound of my
parents laughing over a Scrabble game with friends downstairs.
To this day, when my husband and I are cleaning up after dinner
guests, I often feel a particular grace in our home, as if the
nourishing conversations are still lingering along with the tasty
leftovers in the fridge.
Which reminds me of one of Moran's most striking points -- to
live well in a home, she says, try to eat-in more often. She offers
this odd tip I've taken to heart: shop for food at places you enjoy
visiting. Each week I traverse Chicago to shop at an organic
farmers' market. I come home with succulent peaches, tomatoes
so fresh and flavorful you eat them like apples and bunches of
fragrant basil. Each time I lug my sacks into the kitchen, I feel as
if I'm bringing fresh life into our home, life that we can slice and
serve to our guests.
Inside Out
When we lived in Portland, there was a drop-in center for
homeless teens called "Outside-In" I liked how this name
expressed refuge from the rainy streets. But the motion of our
homes is from the inside out.
We begin by seeing what's there, creating order and bringing
light, fresh food, friends and strangers into our space. The work
that begins inside four walls, however, seeps out into the world
around it. "Home can be a splendid site for the healing activity
of love," Moran writes, "But it can also be the place where love
can be generated for dispersion elsewhere ... it can expand to
encompass our neighborhood, community and the world."
It only takes a little bit of leaven to make the dough rise. The
kneading, however, begins at home.
|