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DON'T DO DA CRIME UNLESS YOU CAN DO DA — THERAPY?
Dear Professor Theophilus:
I am a young Christian girl with a heart for Jesus Christ. I also have a confession. For more than a year I've been stealing money from the place where I work. I've been changing the lies I tell to others and myself for so long that I'm not even sure myself about the details any more, but the bottom line is that I stole and spent about $20,000. This week I was caught.
I manipulated my co-workers. They trusted me so much that they still don't think I stole the money. But the higher-ups know, and now that they've caught me I've finally told the truth.
I prayed continuously that I wouldn't lose my job, that I'd pay back all the money, and most of all that I wouldn't be caught. Sometimes I even tithed the money I stole. If I stole $900.00, I'd tithe $90.00. The stealing grew more and more out of control. Since nobody knew except God, it seemed to lack reality, and I was able to sort of ignore it, if that makes any sense. Finally, I prayed for an escape. Ask and you shall receive. Well, I received.
No, I didn't forget to read the commandment, "Though shalt not steal" — I know. I was raised in a Christian family. I have an incredible relationship with my parents. I did it anyway. Being caught was an answer to my prayers. Last night I wept at the altar by myself. I think it was the beginning of my cleansing.
I know that disobedience to God isn't justifiable. I know that I had to confess. I know that I have to repent. I know that I have to submit to whatever the authorities decide. My question is, is the forgiveness and healing of Christ the only help I truly need to come to grips with the way I let this happen? Do I need therapy of some sort? Or would seeking therapy be like not trusting Christ?
REPLY
I'm glad you wrote, and you've already figured out a lot of what you need to hear. You've figured out that you were lying to yourself. You've figured out that you weren't being honest with God. You've figured out that you were trying to cut a deal with Him: "I'll give you a tenth of the loot."
You've also figured out which prayers He listened to. The sinful prayer, "Don't let me be caught," wasn't answered, because you were asking Him to be an accomplice in dishonesty and crime. The good one, "Give me a way out," was answered because you were caught. That was truly the mercy of God, because being caught did for you what you couldn't do for yourself. It put an end to the sin and the excuses once and for all, and made it possible for you to begin learning to be honest with God and with everyone else. How many of us have reason to thank Him for getting caught!
You know that Christ forgives, but knowing that doesn't explain how you let yourself get so far out of control in the first place. You're worried that you might get out of control again. That's the real reason for your question, isn't it?
Here's the way you asked it: "Is it enough to seek Christ's forgiveness and healing, or should you be doing something else too, like getting therapy?" That is not exactly the right way to put the question. The issue isn't that new-fangled thing called therapy, but that old-fashioned thing called penance. Why? I'm not down on therapy, but your main problem isn't psychological — it's spiritual. So let's put the question this way instead: Although in a sense it is enough to seek Christ's forgiveness and healing, what does such seeking require of you?
A condition of forgiveness is repentance, so one part of the question has to be "Is there anything else you should do to be sure that you have really repented?" A condition of healing is that you cooperate with the divine physician, so the other part of the question has to be "Is there anything else you should do for the medicine of His grace to take effect?"
I think the answer to both questions is yes, and here is my solemn advice.
First, see if you can work out an installment agreement to repay everyone from whom you have stolen — the place you worked, of course, but anyone else you aren't telling me about too. Restitution is good not only for justice toward those you have wronged, but also, by God's grace, for cleansing the stains in your soul. Don't try to work out such an agreement on your own; since a crime has been committed, ask a Christian lawyer to assist and represent you. Don't delay; make the necessary appointments this very day.
Second, if the business you worked for treats you mercifully and agrees to restitution, don't refuse this mercy. Give thanks for it to man and to God. But if you suffer additional legal penalties, then submit to them — not merely out of legalistic obedience, but in a spirit of whole-hearted submission for what God allows you to undergo for your good.
Third, get in touch with the non-profit organization Consumer Credit Counseling Services, and do whatever the counselors advise you to do. They will not only help you to get out of debt, but help you develop different spending and credit habits. Don't delay; make the necessary appointments this very day. I don't think you would have stolen unless other sins connected with money had already taken root.
In the meantime, ask Christ to scour out every stain of dishonesty, of excuse-making, and of self-deception from your heart. Ask Him to make you not only honest, but in love with honesty. That is the kind of prayer He loves to hear. As He promised, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Start hungering and thirsting.
Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS
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DO I HAFTA PUT UP WITH THIS GUY?
Dear Professor Theophilus:
I'm a Christian at a community college in Michigan. When I registered for classes I thought I'd like the "Bible as Literature" course, but it didn't work out the way I expected. From the rude things the teacher has said, I think he must be an atheist.
The teacher made it a point of saying that this is not a religious class, and we should set our religious beliefs aside. I was okay with that because I hadn't intended to force my beliefs on anyone. I was even okay with him calling the Bible a "revelation myth" because I understood that the class isn't about whether it's true. But I did have a problem when he began claiming that the Bible isn't true and that evolution is. I'm not sure that I am well enough equipped to defend my faith against someone like him, and besides, I've been told by the teacher himself — as well as friends who have taken his class — that he is intolerant of Christians who voice discomfort about his comments.
I don't feel that I should have to take this kind of disrespect from a teacher. But here's what worries me. Would dropping this class show a lack of faith in God's ability to carry me through the experience?
REPLY
Your letter is difficult to answer because you describe one problem, but you pose your question as though you have a different problem. The problem you describe is that your teacher simply rejects your religious views. The problem you imply is that he treats them with disrespect, perhaps even attacks them. Let's consider some of the possibilities about what you are actually facing.
Suppose he says, "This is not a religion class, and I expect you to put your religious views aside. Now, of course, the Bible is in error about many things." This is a double standard, so it would be appropriate for you to respond, "You said that you want all of us to set our religious views aside. But aren't you expressing a religious view about the Bible? Fair is fair; shouldn't that view be set aside too?"
Suppose he says, "People who believe the Bible are ignorant, and we won't take their views seriously in this class." This is disrespectful, so you should say something like "Sir, you said this is a class on literature, not religion. However, to call religious believers ignorant is to express a religious view, not a literary view. Not only that, it's insulting. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but how is insulting us part of teaching literature?"
Or suppose he says "Genesis isn't factual; evolution is." In this case the problem is that you don't yet know what he means! One thing that needs clearing up is what he is denying, so you might ask, "Sir, are you claiming that there isn't any Creator, or are you merely suggesting that the biblical account of Creation is something less than a technical description of how God did the job?" Another thing that needs clearing up is what he means by his terms, so you might ask, "Sir, what do you mean by evolution? Are you merely claiming that living things developed gradually, or are you making the very different claim that it happened by pure chance, without any guidance from the Creator?"
Remember that the issue isn't your feelings, but the teacher's lack of objectivity. If the only thing your friends could think of to "voice" to him was their "discomfort," no wonder he didn't take them seriously. Give him a reason to do so. Suppose you were a math teacher and the students "voiced their discomfort" about differential equations. Would you consider that a reason to skip that chapter?
We come at last to your question. Would dropping the course show lack of faith in God's ability to carry you through the experience? That would depend on why you dropped. Consider three possibilities.
- If you dropped because you were afraid that your teacher's atheism might be right, then yes, that would show lack of faith.
- If you dropped because you doubted whether such a bigoted teacher could teach you anything, then no, that wouldn't show lack of faith.
- If you dropped because you just didn't want the hassle of learning how to challenge the professor's claims, then that wouldn't show lack of faith, but it would certainly show spiritual and intellectual laziness.
So how do I advise you? Examine your motives for wanting to drop!
Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS
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WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO LEAVE GOD?
Dear Professor Theophilus:
In your answer to the letter If There Is A Hell, Then I Don't Want Heaven, you alluded to the college and grad school days you spent in rejection of Christian faith. I'm not trying to be nosy, but could you share some of your experiences from that time? The reason I ask is that I've spent the last few years in a steady spiritual decline. I've kept up the language and ideas of the faith, yet walked away from them completely in my actual life.
I hope you don't think that I'm nosy or just looking for something juicy. But what I really want is some real, actual evidence of what really turning away from God is really like, and what it takes to get back on the track, and what that's like too.
REPLY
It's a good thing you're not looking for something juicy, because it wasn't like that. But for what it's worth, you're welcome to read the short version of my personal testimony, "Escape from Nihilism." If you'd rather read a longer, more philosophical version, look up the book Why I Am a Christian: Leading Thinkers Explain Why They Believe, edited by Norman L. Geisler and Paul K. Hoffman, and read my chapter "Why I Am Not an Atheist."
Your problem isn't unusual, although different people get into spiritual declines for different reasons. My own path out of faith, which lasted for a dozen years or so, began in a drift, not a flight. The most important piece of advice that I can give is to remember that there is no such thing as a solitary Christian; we are made for communion with our brothers and sisters in the faith. A lot of the reasons for drift are reflected in the Office Hours article "Cloud of Unbelief." I also give practical advice about how not to drift in How to Stay Christian in College.
Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS
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