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DON'T DO DA CRIME UNLESS YOU CAN DO DA —
THERAPY?
Dear Professor Theophilus:
I am a young Christian girl with a heart for Jesus Christ. I
also have a confession. For more than a year I've been stealing
money from the place where I work. I've been changing the lies I
tell to others and myself for so long that I'm not even sure
myself about the details any more, but the bottom line is that I
stole and spent about $20,000. This week I was caught.
I manipulated my co-workers. They trusted me so much
that they still don't think I stole the money. But the higher-ups
know, and now that they've caught me I've finally told the
truth.
I prayed continuously that I wouldn't lose my job, that I'd
pay back all the money, and most of all that I wouldn't be
caught. Sometimes I even tithed the money I stole. If I
stole $900.00, I'd tithe $90.00. The stealing grew more and
more out of control. Since nobody knew except God, it seemed
to lack reality, and I was able to sort of ignore it, if that makes
any sense. Finally, I prayed for an escape. Ask and you shall
receive. Well, I received.
No, I didn't forget to read the commandment, "Though shalt
not steal" — I know. I was raised in a Christian family. I
have an incredible relationship with my parents. I did it anyway.
Being caught was an answer to my prayers. Last night I wept at
the altar by myself. I think it was the beginning of my
cleansing.
I know that disobedience to God isn't justifiable. I know
that I had to confess. I know that I have to repent. I know that I
have to submit to whatever the authorities decide. My question
is, is the forgiveness and healing of Christ the only help I truly
need to come to grips with the way I let this happen? Do I need
therapy of some sort? Or would seeking therapy be like not
trusting Christ?
REPLY
I'm glad you wrote, and you've already figured out a lot of
what you need to hear. You've figured out that you were lying to
yourself. You've figured out that you weren't being honest with
God. You've figured out that you were trying to cut a deal with
Him: "I'll give you a tenth of the loot."
You've also figured out which prayers He listened to. The
sinful prayer, "Don't let me be caught," wasn't answered,
because you were asking Him to be an accomplice in dishonesty
and crime. The good one, "Give me a way out," was answered
because you were caught. That was truly the mercy of God,
because being caught did for you what you couldn't do for
yourself. It put an end to the sin and the excuses once and for
all, and made it possible for you to begin learning to be honest
with God and with everyone else. How many of us have reason
to thank Him for getting caught!
You know that Christ forgives, but knowing that doesn't
explain how you let yourself get so far out of control in the first
place. You're worried that you might get out of control again.
That's the real reason for your question, isn't it?
Here's the way you asked it: "Is it enough to seek Christ's
forgiveness and healing, or should you be doing something else
too, like getting therapy?" That is not exactly the right way to
put the question. The issue isn't that new-fangled thing called
therapy, but that old-fashioned thing called penance. Why? I'm
not down on therapy, but your main problem isn't
psychological — it's spiritual. So let's put the question
this way instead: Although in a sense it is enough to seek
Christ's forgiveness and healing, what does such seeking
require of you?
A condition of forgiveness is repentance, so one part of the
question has to be "Is there anything else you should do to be
sure that you have really repented?" A condition of healing is
that you cooperate with the divine physician, so the other part of
the question has to be "Is there anything else you should do for
the medicine of His grace to take effect?"
I think the answer to both questions is yes, and here is my
solemn advice.
First, see if you can work out an installment agreement to
repay everyone from whom you have stolen — the place
you worked, of course, but anyone else you aren't telling me
about too. Restitution is good not only for justice toward those
you have wronged, but also, by God's grace, for cleansing the
stains in your soul. Don't try to work out such an agreement on
your own; since a crime has been committed, ask a Christian
lawyer to assist and represent you. Don't delay; make the
necessary appointments this very day.
Second, if the business you worked for treats you mercifully
and agrees to restitution, don't refuse this mercy. Give thanks
for it to man and to God. But if you suffer additional legal
penalties, then submit to them — not merely out of
legalistic obedience, but in a spirit of whole-hearted submission
for what God allows you to undergo for your good.
Third, get in touch with the non-profit organization
Consumer Credit Counseling Services, and do whatever the
counselors advise you to do. They will not only help you to get
out of debt, but help you develop different spending and credit
habits. Don't delay; make the necessary appointments this very
day. I don't think you would have stolen unless other sins
connected with money had already taken root.
In the meantime, ask Christ to scour out every stain of
dishonesty, of excuse-making, and of self-deception from your
heart. Ask Him to make you not only honest, but in love with
honesty. That is the kind of prayer He loves to hear. As He
promised, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for
righteousness, for they will be filled." Start hungering and
thirsting.
Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS
* * *
DO I HAFTA PUT UP WITH THIS GUY?
Dear Professor Theophilus:
I'm a Christian at a community college in Michigan. When I
registered for classes I thought I'd like the "Bible as Literature"
course, but it didn't work out the way I expected. From the rude
things the teacher has said, I think he must be an atheist.
The teacher made it a point of saying that this is not a
religious class, and we should set our religious beliefs aside. I
was okay with that because I hadn't intended to force my beliefs
on anyone. I was even okay with him calling the Bible a
"revelation myth" because I understood that the class isn't about
whether it's true. But I did have a problem when he began
claiming that the Bible isn't true and that evolution is.
I'm not sure that I am well enough equipped to defend my faith
against someone like him, and besides, I've been told by the
teacher himself — as well as friends who have taken his
class — that he is intolerant of Christians who voice
discomfort about his comments.
I don't feel that I should have to take this kind of disrespect
from a teacher. But here's what worries me. Would dropping
this class show a lack of faith in God's ability to carry me
through the experience?
REPLY
Your letter is difficult to answer because you describe one
problem, but you pose your question as though you have a
different problem. The problem you describe is that your
teacher simply rejects your religious views. The problem you
imply is that he treats them with disrespect, perhaps even
attacks them. Let's consider some of the possibilities about
what you are actually facing.
Suppose he says, "This is not a religion class, and I expect
you to put your religious views aside. Now, of course, the Bible
is in error about many things." This is a double standard, so it
would be appropriate for you to respond, "You said that you
want all of us to set our religious views aside. But aren't you
expressing a religious view about the Bible? Fair is fair;
shouldn't that view be set aside too?"
Suppose he says, "People who believe the Bible are ignorant,
and we won't take their views seriously in this class." This is
disrespectful, so you should say something like "Sir, you said
this is a class on literature, not religion. However, to call
religious believers ignorant is to express a religious view, not a
literary view. Not only that, it's insulting. I don't mean to be
disrespectful, but how is insulting us part of teaching
literature?"
Or suppose he says "Genesis isn't factual; evolution is." In
this case the problem is that you don't yet know what he means!
One thing that needs clearing up is what he is denying,
so you might ask, "Sir, are you claiming that there isn't any
Creator, or are you merely suggesting that the biblical account
of Creation is something less than a technical description of how
God did the job?" Another thing that needs clearing up is
what he means by his terms, so you might ask, "Sir,
what do you mean by evolution? Are you merely claiming that
living things developed gradually, or are you making the very
different claim that it happened by pure chance, without any
guidance from the Creator?"
Remember that the issue isn't your feelings, but the
teacher's lack of objectivity. If the only thing your friends could
think of to "voice" to him was their "discomfort," no wonder he
didn't take them seriously. Give him a reason to do so.
Suppose you were a math teacher and the students "voiced their
discomfort" about differential equations. Would you consider
that a reason to skip that chapter?
We come at last to your question. Would dropping the
course show lack of faith in God's ability to carry you through
the experience? That would depend on why you dropped.
Consider three possibilities.
- If you dropped because you were afraid that your
teacher's atheism might be right, then yes, that would show lack
of faith.
- If you dropped because you doubted whether such a
bigoted teacher could teach you anything, then no, that wouldn't
show lack of faith.
- If you dropped because you just didn't want the hassle
of learning how to challenge the professor's claims, then that
wouldn't show lack of faith, but it would certainly show spiritual
and intellectual laziness.
So how do I advise you? Examine your motives for wanting
to drop!
Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS
* * *
WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO LEAVE GOD?
Dear Professor Theophilus:
In your answer to the letter If There Is A
Hell, Then I Don't Want Heaven, you alluded to the college
and grad school days you spent in rejection of Christian faith.
I'm not trying to be nosy, but could you share some of your
experiences from that time? The reason I ask is that I've spent
the last few years in a steady spiritual decline. I've kept up the
language and ideas of the faith, yet walked away from them
completely in my actual life.
I hope you don't think that I'm nosy or just looking for
something juicy. But what I really want is some real, actual
evidence of what really turning away from God is really like, and
what it takes to get back on the track, and what that's like
too.
REPLY
It's a good thing you're not looking for something juicy,
because it wasn't like that. But for what it's worth, you're
welcome to read the short version of my personal testimony, "Escape from Nihilism." If you'd rather
read a longer, more philosophical version, look up the book
Why I Am a Christian: Leading Thinkers Explain Why They
Believe, edited by Norman L. Geisler and Paul K. Hoffman,
and read my chapter "Why I Am Not an Atheist."
Your problem isn't unusual, although different people get
into spiritual declines for different reasons. My own path out of
faith, which lasted for a dozen years or so, began in a drift, not a
flight. The most important piece of advice that I can give is to
remember that there is no such thing as a solitary Christian; we
are made for communion with our brothers and sisters in the
faith. A lot of the reasons for drift are reflected in the Office
Hours article "Cloud of Unbelief."
I also give practical advice about how not to drift in How to Stay Christian in
College.
I'm sorry that I've merely given you a list of things to read.
The problem is that in order to fine-tune my answer, I'd need to
know more about your actual situation than you've told me! Tell
you what. Take a look at "Cloud of
Unbelief" — it's in the Boundless
archives, so it's free — and see if anything in it
addresses your own difficulties. Then write back and tell me
how else I can help.
Grace and peace,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS
* * *
TO MY READERS:
Some of you beloved sneaky people have been ferreting out
my personal email address and writing me there. Please don't;
letters for Theophilus should be sent through asktheo@trueu.org.
One reason for this is accountability; third parties are helpful.
Another is that I receive far too many letters to answer, and the
editor passes on only the ones that deal with topics I haven't
answered before. Your confidentiality will be respected. Of
course, a few people — like students at Post-Everything
University trying to register for my classes — have special
reasons to use my personal address. They know who they
are.
* * *
If you have a question you'd like Professor Theophilus to
consider for this column, please send it to asktheo@trueu.org. Please note, all
questions that are selected for "Ask Theophilus" may be edited
for clarity and privacy and become the property of Focus on the
Family.
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