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One of the great disappointments of my life is that my
brothers and sisters and I never became a singing group like the
Partridge Family. It isn't because we were undiscovered prodigies
who never got our break; it is because we have not a morsel of
musical talent among the six of us. What are the odds of that?
You can't walk to your car without bumping into someone telling
you about their new record deal; yet, out of half a dozen fairly
well-adjusted people, eight if you throw in Mom and Dad, none
of us could so much as play I Dropped My Dolly in the Dirt on
the piano.
As a service to the global community, my family never sings
publicly. You're thinking, Oh, come on, it can't be that
bad. You are wrong. It is that bad. I've heard us. If we are
not tone deaf, we are as close as a group of individuals can
be.
I wish I could say that my family's creative energy was
channeled elsewhere, and that we settled for Nobel prizes, but
the fact is we're all pretty much just regular people. What we did
grow to appreciate, out of necessity since we could not generate
our own groove, was a love for the music created by others more
gifted than we.
I grew up with records and 8-tracks and cassettes and
radios blaring music from every room of our house. We
surrounded ourselves with the great talent of others, therapy for
our painful, toneless wounds. As I would meander throughout
the halls and various rooms of our home, it was like scanning
the dial of a radio. Music, mostly pop, would flow from every
appliance that had a set of speakers. Every Saturday our living
room television set was tuned to American Bandstand.
You could see the longing in our eyes as we watched the guest-
group perform. We wanted to be the Osmonds.
My own musical handicap is never more obvious than
during the holidays, which feature multiple gatherings of public
singing. Christmas songs beg to be sung out-loud by everyone
within range. They are to be sung with verve and passion. Many
of them are written simply, with me in mind, so that even the
worst of the worst can join in with the others. But even then I
have to hold down the volume so as to preserve the peace and
good will of the season. About the only place I can really let it rip
is in the confines of my car.
And so it was, last Tuesday, when I was driving down
Interstate 30, running an errand for work. That morning when I
stopped for coffee, I had on impulse purchased My
Christmas Prayer, the Christmas album by BeBe Winans. I
can't say enough about how good BeBe Winans is. As they say in
the biz, he could sing the proverbial Denny's menu and it would
go double-platinum. My singing a duet with him on this side of
heaven is a little like my 3-year-old son banging pots and pans
along with the London Philharmonic Orchestra, but in my car,
alone, I gave it all I had.
As I traveled north over the Arkansas River from Little Rock
to North Little Rock, BeBe and I launched into Oh Come All
Ye Faithful. It's a carol I've always enjoyed, but no more
than any of the others.
On this occasion, though, something happened.
Yea, Lord we greet Thee, born this happy
morning/Jesus to Thee be all glory given/Word of the Father,
now in flesh appearing
Now, I'm not one to stuff my emotions. I'll get a little
choked-up on appropriate occasions, like when the Broncos win
a Superbowl (I recall even getting a little misty-eyed), but I
wouldn't describe myself as overly emotional.
Something started forming in my throat, though, as BeBe and his
echoing choir began the chorus.
Oh come let us adore Him/Oh come let us
adore Him/Oh come let us adore Him
Merging onto a short stretch of I-40, I joined in and let
loose.
Christ! Christ! Christ! Yes, Christ! Christ!
Christ! The Lord!
BeBe, his choir and I had worked ourselves into a fever
pitch. We were all yelling by this point. Whatever had earlier
grabbed my throat had now climbed into my eyes and the mist
turned into tears and at 65 miles per hour I began weeping.
For He alone is worthy/For He alone is
worthy/For He alone is worthy/Christ the Lord!
I was overwhelmed. I wasn't sure if I should keep driving or
pull over. I blinked feverishly, wiping the tears from my face,
trying not to run anyone off the road. What started as just an
innocent errand with a little Christmas music in the background
was now a church service. My heart pounded. It became boiling
hot in my car.
The song ended as I exited the interstate, made a few turns
and managed to pull into the parking lot of a local business, my
errand destination. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror. My
face was red and my eyes were bloodshot. I sat there for a
moment and tried to gather myself. What in the world was
that?
To my knowledge, I hadn't any bottled up emotions that
needed releasing, which is to say, I don't think I "just needed a
good cry." Additionally, I'm entirely incapable of generating
emotion on my own. I know because I've tried. And finally, the
words were not anything new to me. I've sung Oh Come All
Ye Faithful countless times with little fanfare. I never
remember being moved to tears by them. To be honest, even as
I sang them this time I wasn't really giving much thought to their
meaning.
I can only explain what happened as the presence of God's
Spirit. It was quite simply a gift that at that moment I was
neither seeking nor necessarily expecting. It, He, just
arrived. I was filled with a mixture of peace, joy and awe
— a microscopic slice of heaven.
I sat in the parking lot thinking, why? Why would
such a thing happen so unexpectedly in such an ordinary
moment? What was different about this moment from any other
moment? And then I thought of those shepherds just out there
in the fields, tending their flocks, going about their ordinary
lives, on a night no different from any other, when:
Suddenly, God's angel stood among them and
God's glory blazed around them. They were terrified. "Don't be
afraid. I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is
meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in
David's town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what
you are to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a
manger." At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir
singing God's praises, "Glory to God in the heavenly heights!
Peace to all women and men on earth who please Him!" (Luke
2:9-14, as paraphrased in The Message)
And they will call him Immanuel. God with us. He is
with us in fields and stables. He is with us in classrooms and
offices and homes and malls and grocery stores and hospitals.
And right there, on Interstate 30, behind the wheel of a '97
Mazda, I had experienced the best gift I would receive all season
long — the gift of His presence.
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