AM I JUDGING THEM?

Since coming to my Christian college, I've become much more serious about actually living my life for Jesus and to reflect Jesus. My problem is that my college friends don't seem to be doing that. I know we all sin, but it seems like they are missing the point of knowing Christ. Salvation shouldn't be a "license to sin!"

These friends are spiritual leaders on campus — chapel planning committee members, for example — but they use foul language when angry, say horrible things about people they don't like, watch filthy television shows, and don't practice purity in their relationships.

What I am asking is how to handle myself around them. I'm trying to be an example, but they pass it off by saying that I've been "sheltered." I'm afraid that if I talk to them about what I think, they'll think I'm saying I am a better Christian than they are, and that, of course, isn't true. Am I being too judgmental?

Reply

Are you too judgmental? Interesting question. Let me challenge the way you frame it. Asking whether you are too judgmental implies that there is such a thing as a right amount of judgment — neither too much nor too little, but just right. I would put it differently. There isn't a right amount of judgment, but there is a right kind of judgment. So a better question for you is: Are you I practicing the right kind or the wrong kind?

Actually there are several wrong kinds. One wrong kind takes the attitude, "You're a sinner, but I'm not." We all have sinful tendencies. I don't agree with you that everyone is equally afflicted by sinful tendencies, but it's certainly a bad idea to dwell on where we stand in the rankings. Another wrong kind of judgment takes the attitude, "You're beyond repentance and you're going to hell." Our gaze can't penetrate deeply enough into the heart to know things like that. I suppose many pious people would have said that Mary Magdalene was beyond repentance and going to hell, but her change of life was profound.

Scripture roundly condemns the wrong kinds of judgment. On the other hand, there are several right kinds too. We ought to be able to discern that certain lines of thinking are erroneous, and we ought to be able to discern that certain lines of conduct are sinful. Otherwise, how could we direct our lives along the right path? Similarly, we ought to be see the danger when people we know fall into these sins or these errors — danger not only for them, but even, sometimes, for us or for others.

If you're practicing only the right kinds of judgment, and if you're practicing it not with self-righteousness but with a genuine desire for your friends' own good, and if you're not being catty, gossipy, or priggish, then you're not being judgmental in the bad sense.

Now let me suggest some other questions for you to think about. Here's one: Have you chosen good companions? Frankly, the ones you have sound pretty tedious.

Another important question: Have you been acting "holier than thou"? I'm not saying that you are — I'm only saying that you should make sure you're not. For example, if your friends are be annoyed with you simply because you don't use filthy language, it's not your fault. But if they're annoyed with you because you make snide remarks about the fact that they do, it is your fault. Be sure you stay on the right side of the line.

Last. I don't know exactly what you mean when you say that your friends don't practice purity in their relationships. Do you mean that they've been sleeping with each other? And do you know this for sure? If you know it, then probably everyone on campus knows about it. Considering that your friends are considered Christian leaders, their acts are not only grave sin but grave scandal — not just in the modern sense of the term, "something that causes a fuss," but in the ancient sense, "something that causes others to stumble." What this means is that you have something else to do besides being a good example. It's dealing with their bad example.

For that reason, even if no other, I do think you should speak with your friends. Explain to them "Look, this isn't only bad, it's harming others." Don't do it in public, don't talk with all of them at once, and don't get drawn into argument; speak with each one briefly, calmly, privately, as friend to friend, in love. If they don't listen, take another friend with you and try again. If they still don't listen, ask the minister of your college chapel for a confidential appointment, and explain the situation to him. Leave it in his hands. Then — except for your prayer time — put it out of your mind.

Be at peace. It's okay. That wouldn't be priggish, catty, gossipy, or "holier than thou." It would be loving and responsible.

Peace be with you,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

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CRUEL SCRIPTURES

I've come across something that has seriously shaken my faith. The issue is cruelty and misogyny in the Bible. Numbers 31:17-18 says "Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man by lying with him. But all the young girls who have not known man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves." What? Did God really encourage this? I'd have an extremely hard time worshipping a God who would not only command Moses to show no mercy to a whole group of people, but to make virgin girls the sexual slaves of Israelite men.

People have told me that some biblical laws and teachings are obsolete, that they're no longer valid. But wouldn't the condoning of atrocities at any time in history invalidate the Bible as an eternal source of truth and morality? And if we can pick and choose which biblical laws and teachings are valid and which aren't, then which ones do we pick and choose?

I'm struggling with this issue so much that my growth in Christian faith has completely stopped, and may be disappearing.

Reply

It's easy to come up with even nastier incidents in the Bible than the one you mention. However, I think you're also making several mistakes. The first lies in thinking that the "keep them for yourselves" line in Numbers 31 is about rape; what it probably means is that the captives are to become Israelite women — that they are to become wives, rather than slaves or concubines. Remember, this was a society of arranged marriages. Your second mistake lies in thinking that everything recorded in the Bible is condoned by the Bible. Not so. The story says this particular command came from Moses, but it doesn't say he consulted with God about it. In fact, we know from other parts of Scripture that Moses was headstrong — that sometimes he acted in ways that were displeasing to God. When we say that the Bible is an eternal source of truth and morality, we're talking about what Scripture teaches, not everything that it mentions as having happened. It doesn't present everything Old Testament people did as a model for our imitation.

In fact, not even every Old Testament law is intended for all times. When I say this, I don't mean that we can pick and choose what pleases us; I am talking about the intention of God Himself. Scripture distinguishes between the general moral principles that underlie the Law of Moses (which are valid for all times) and the applications of these principles to the particular cultural circumstances of the ancient Hebrew people (which are not valid for all times). For example, the Law of Moses allowed divorce — yet Jesus condemned divorce. When challenged, He explained in that Moses didn't permit divorce because divorce was right, but because the hearts of the people were hard. God's intention "from the beginning" was for faithfulness in marriage, but the people weren't ready to hear it (Mark 10:2-12).

Much of Jesus' teaching follows the same pattern. Over and over, He says "You have heard that ... but I say to you...." For example, the people had heard the maxim "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth" Did they think that this was a command to take vengeance? They might have. God, however, had intended it as a limitation on vengeance: No more than an eye for an eye, no more than a tooth for a tooth. How do we know this? Because, as we find in Matthew 5:38-39, God's ultimate intention is that they not exercise private vengeance at all!

Another way to put the point I'm making is that the Old Testament isn't self-interpreting. It has to be read in the light of the teachings of Jesus and the Apostles. If you keep this in mind, I think that the Old Testament will strengthen your faith instead of shaking it.

Since you're especially concerned about the treatment of women, be sure to distinguish the Bible's view of women from the view of some of the men that the Bible mentions. According to Genesis, male and female together are the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Wisdom is poetically depicted as a woman (Proverbs 8). Women saved Israel on several occasions (for example, Exodus 1:15-20, not to mention Esther). Jesus shocked His disciples by speaking with women just as He spoke with men (for example, John 4:7-27). Women were the first to see Jesus after the Resurrection (John 20:1-18). Women were present when the Holy Spirit descended on the day of Pentecost (Acts 1:14 and 2:1). God Himself came among us from the womb of a woman (Luke 1:30-31). And when Gabriel came with his great announcement, Mary gave a response so perfect as to be a model for the submission of all Christians to God: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38).

Peace be with you,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

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SABBATH STUFF

Could you run an Ask Theophilus about the Sabbath? One thing is whether it's Saturday or Sunday. Another is what we can do on it. I mean like having homework I can't escape on the Sabbath, or having a job that requires going to work on the Sabbath.

Reply

About the Sabbath. God commanded the Hebrew people to set aside the seventh day of the week, which we call Saturday, for worship and rest. The reason this particular day was chosen was that in the Creation story, God labored for six days and rested on the seventh. However, the Resurrection of Christ was an even greater event than the Creation. For this reason, from earliest times Christians have set aside not the seventh day of the week, when God rested, but the first day of the week, Sunday, when Jesus rose from the dead.

About working. On a certain occasion, as Jesus and his disciples passed through a field, some of them, being hungry, plucked and ate a few grains of wheat. When certain Pharisees criticized them for what they considered Sabbath-breaking, Jesus chided them for missing the point of the Sabbath commandment. Among other things, He said that man is not made for the Sabbath; rather the Sabbath is made for man (Mark 2:27). What this tells us is Sabbath should not be interpreted in a legalistic spirit which makes it a burden, but in a reverently joyful spirit which makes it a blessing. Thus, we should avoid unnecessary distraction and labor on the day of rest and worship, but we should also use judgment; some distraction and labor may be necessary. If a burglar breaks into a house on that day, it's all right for the police to arrest him. If your child gets a cut on that day, it's all right for the doctor to stitch it up. And if your teacher says he'll fail you if you don't finish that essay by Sunday, I personally think it's all right to finish it — but you shouldn't skip worship, and you ought to ask yourself whether it's your own fault for goofing off on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday!

Does this help? I hope so.

Peace be with you,
PROFESSOR THEOPHILUS

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If you have a question you'd like Professor Theophilus to consider for this column, please send it to asktheo@trueu.org. Please note, all questions that are selected for "Ask Theophilus" may be edited for clarity and privacy and become the property of Focus on the Family.