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"Being single," a friend admitted, "I don't think I ever eat a
normal, sit-down meal that I actually cook, unless it's a special
occasion. It seems like a waste of time. Isn't that sad?"
I nodded, remembering how hard it was for my husband
and me to get used to forging regular meal times for our family
after years of singleness without regular meal times. Dinner was
a bite here, a handful of chips there, maybe order a pizza and
eat pieces of it over the course of the next few days. "Why
bother cooking," I tended to think. "It's just me."
I didn't realize it at the time, but in doing so I was forming
habits that were not healthy for me physically, and that were not
so good for me emotionally either. I've tried to embrace the
discipline of eating healthier foods, but also having healthier
eating habits like sitting down and taking the time to actually
enjoy my meal.
Years ago, while reading through the Bible, for some reason
I started to notice all of those verses scattered throughout God's
Word that talk about meals and eating. At first I thought maybe
my newest diet had gone to my head, but then I realized that, in
God's eyes, eating was closely tied to fellowship and
togetherness, not just food. No wonder eating alone is hard for
us — God designed for us to merge nourishing our bodies
at mealtime and nourishing our souls with refreshing
fellowship.
Deuteronomy 26:11 has become one of
my favorite verses, perhaps because our meal times are so
important to our family. This verse says, "And you shall rejoice
in all the good that the LORD your God has given to you and to
your house, you, and the Levite, and the sojourner who is among
you."
Still, even if it's "just me" and no one else, I can still rejoice
in every good thing that God gives me at each meal. Sit down to
eat at your dinner table. Don't let your table become horizontal
long-term storage or the flat filing cabinet, either! Clear it off for
dinner, set it nicely, maybe even add a candle or other
centerpiece to it and enjoy your meal in the presence of God. I've
found it so hard to do, and yet so refreshing when I do make my
meal times special even if I'm dining alone.
Most of the time, I'm helping moms of larger families try to
figure out how to feed their families well on a budget. But
making dinner for one is just as big of a challenge, I think. Many
of the principles remain the same.
The best place to begin is with a plan in mind. A menu
doesn't have to be rigid, but it does need to be more complex
than 24/7 eating whatever we feel like eating. Think through
your regular schedule — your work demands, classes,
ministry responsibilities, and any other activities — and
when you're done writing that down, write another list of your
favorite foods or meals. Now, you can combine those two lists
into a general menu plan based upon how much cooking and
eating time you have set aside each day (e.g., "Wednesday
— soup, Thursday — salad, Friday —
nachos"). This gives you a framework from which to work.
Each week, this plan can be made more specific, based
upon what's on sale or in season (such as "Soup" becoming
"chicken soup," "potato soup" or "gazpacho," and "nachos" can
become "fajitas," "tacos" or "enchiladas"). You may prepare one
serving, or even purposely prepare more, with a plan to use your
leftovers, or freeze them for another time. Always schedule one
"I'm not cooking" day on your menu plan, where you are free to
use leftovers, or eat out.
Most of the meals that are eaten in our house are not your
usual "slab of meat, side of starch, side of vegetable" sort of
meals, and most of my recipes are never exactly measured out.
Meals don't have to be complex all the time. Some days, in the
heat of summer, fresh diced tomatoes tossed with Italian
dressing and served with a side of corn on the cob can be the
perfect meal.
I grew up here in the USA, but I lived overseas both as an
exchange student and later as an au pair, not to mention
traveling abroad, and I now love to cook and eat ethnic foods.
The good news is that many ethnic foods (Middle Eastern,
Mexican, Mediterranean, Indian, or Asian) are not only less
expensive, but they are also usually healthier for us, and can
have endless variations, based on the availability of the
ingredients around you.
One of my favorite meals for the summer is chicken or shish
kebobs. When I buy my boneless meat or chicken, I cut it into
cubes, put it into a zipper freezer bag with lemon juice diluted
with water, a pinch of thyme, rosemary, marjoram, onion flakes,
and garlic, and I freeze it in usable portions. For my family, that
usually means large bags, but I always leave some meat to
marinate in smaller baggies in one-serving sized portions. That
way, I can quickly thaw the meat, put it on skewers and add
whatever vegetables I find on sale for a quick meal under the
broiler (or on the grill), served on a bed of rice. Sometimes I vary
the marinade to be Asian style (with ginger, sesame oil, rice
vinegar, Chinese Five Spice, and lemon grass) or Indian style
(with lemon juice diluted with water, curry powder, coriander,
cumin, and ginger).
I usually base what vegetables I put on the skewers on
what's on sale or in my garden. For example, we just had some
kebobs with red peppers, onions, whole potatoes (from a can),
and large cloves of elephant garlic.
In this same way, meat can be frozen in strips, and left to
marinate for some quick fajitas. I marinate my fajitas with
lemon juice diluted in water, cilantro, coriander, chili powder,
oregano, onion flakes, and garlic, and then I broil the meat,
some sliced onions and sweet bell peppers, and serve on a
tortilla, sometimes with refried beans, cheese, and salsa.
Other times, I freeze strips of meat in usable portions, and
quickly thaw it for stir-fry. To make a stir-fry, I simply heat my
wok (a large skillet works well too), add just enough oil so that
the meat will not stick, plus a few drops of sesame oil (which is
found in the Oriental section of most grocery stores). Once the
pan is hot, I add the meat and quickly stir-fry it until cooked
through before adding whatever vegetables I have
available.
Recently, I made a stir-fry of chicken, sliced carrots, sliced
onions, and sliced celery. To save time, you can pre-slice and
freeze your vegetables in freezer bags for quick use later. Most
stir-fries taste best when seasoned with oriental spices, such as
Chinese Five Spice, ginger, and lemon grass. Just add a pinch at
a time, and adjust the spices to your taste. Next, create a sauce
by adding a small amount of water with a pinch of either chicken
soup mix or onion soup mix. Bring it to a boil, and stir in a cup
of cold water mixed with 1 teaspoon of corn starch to thicken it.
Just serve your stir-fry over some rice.
Convenience foods can be really convenient (shocking, I
know) once in a while, but they're not healthy or budget-friendly
over the long term, nor do they always taste as good as
home-made. One dish I really love to eat is lasagna. But as a
single woman, I wasn't about to make a pan of lasagna every
week, because it was a lot of work, and because I couldn't
possibly eat all of that food (or, worse yet, I would!). However,
making a pan of lasagna or enchiladas, and then freezing
individual servings of it in small freezer bags, makes for an
awesome quick meal that is homemade.
There are many more dishes that freeze well. If you do a
quick web search, you'll find instructions on how to freeze just
about any dish. I also shave time off of my cooking by slicing
and freezing whatever I am able to ahead of time, and
pre-cooking some long-cooking items such as dried beans.
Dried beans are a great value both nutritionally and in cost, but
they take a lot of time to cook. Whenever I cook dried beans, I
cook a bit extra and I freeze them in one cup servings for quick
refried beans or other dishes. I also prepare French Bread Pizza
whenever I find Baguettes on sale (or make them myself), wrap
them well, and freeze them individually for a quick meal.
Seasonings, herbs, and spices work best when you use them
for more than your kitchen decor. Learning to use them properly
is something that comes with time and practice. When I
was first working as the household help in Europe, the lady of
the house instructed me to go out to her herb garden and get
the ingredients for that day's dinner, and I just had to stare
blankly at her. Where I grew up, the seasonings hung on a wall
from the day my parents received them as a wedding gift and
are still hanging there today — unused. However, after my
initial intimidation at all of the seasonings we used in that
household, I soon realized it wasn't as complicated as I thought,
and was actually quite fun.
Making dinner for one can also be a great learning
opportunity, to experiment with and expand culinary skills. I'll
admit that I love to cook, and have always enjoyed playing in the
kitchen. The problem is, cooking for someone else makes it a
little bit harder to experiment and try out new things. Not
everyone is as forgiving about flops, especially now that I am a
mother. My children still talk about the time when I made them
eat what they lovingly dubbed "Seaweed Soup" (though the
recipe didn't sound that bad when I read it). I found my children
begging for pizza from the youth group later that night at
church, and I caught my husband in the car eating spare ribs
from a local restaurant after claiming to be filling up my gas
tank.
In any case, I'm always afraid of ruining dinner, and so I've
learned that on those days when no one else is home, I can take
that time as a learning opportunity to try a new dish. If it's
awesome, I can freeze the leftovers in most cases, or at least
chill them for tomorrow. And, if it is really awful, only the dog
and I have to know. If you have some extra time to play in the
kitchen, try new recipes and expand your culinary horizons; not
everything comes out "Seaweed Soup." Through practice I have
even learned to make egg rolls that everyone claims are better
than the takeout place up the road.
The verse in Deuteronomy also talks about extending our
tables beyond just ourselves and our immediate families, to
those around us. In fact, the Bible actually commands practicing
hospitality to all Christians. I used to think hospitality meant
having a lavish dinner party, which intimidated me. After all, my
house is rarely spotless, my fine china comes from Big Lots, and
I'm definitely not Martha Stewart. Thankfully, hospitality is more
like sharing a meal with a friend or a fellow saint, without
necessarily being fancy about the occasion. With hospitality, the
emphasis is on fellowship, not pretense.
Our family has literally (let me interject here that I know
people misuse this word all the time, and often actually mean
"figuratively"; I really do mean "literally" here) become addicted
to hospitality over the years. We often have missionaries over to
our home for dinner and have opened our homes to singles,
widows, single-parent families, and other families throughout
the year, especially during the holidays.
Hospitality, though, is not just something a family does, but
something every Christian can do. And should do. The first time
can be rather scary, but soon it becomes a joy to minister in this
way, even if you just order a pizza or have a potluck.
I always stand amazed at how God takes something so
simple and practical, such as mealtimes, and yet has so much to
say about them. God created meal times for more than just
physical nourishment, and hospitality is a great way to have
some extra spiritual edification around your table as we share
over a meal how God has worked in each of our lives, and to be
an encouragement to others.
Even when dining alone, meal times can be times of rest
and refreshing, a time to reflect on God's provision in our lives.
Taking the time, a few times a day, to sit and relax over an
enjoyable meal does wonders.
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