A 90's dance song by recording artist Snap went like this: "Don't say this, don't say that; change your lyrics, everybody's a critic, it's getting kinda hectic." This song played in the background of the NBA dunk contest finale between Dee Brown and Shawn Kemp in 1991. The 6'1" Dee Brown won it by putting his forearm over his eyes and slamming it through no-look style!

But I mention this song for a more substantive reason. Even back in '91, as a cocky teen, I agreed with the song's basic premise: Everybody is, or can be, a critic.

I recently experienced this firsthand, when I came under a hailstorm of criticism from people who have never met me. My "sin"? Rapping in church.

A Bad Rap?

I was invited to John Piper's church, Bethlehem Baptist Church (BBC), and was asked to perform last October. I was humbled, because I have great respect for Dr. Piper, and I also knew he is not a huge rap fan, to put it lightly. In fact, I was the first person to ever rap at BBC.

On a Saturday evening, Dr. Piper introduced me to his church and explained that I would perform in the lobby after the service. He then said that I would "minister" to the congregation during the service. I felt all eyes on me. I could sense that many in the crowd were shocked that Dr. Piper had asked me to rap in his church. To be honest, it was one of those moments that drive you to make painfully honest assessments of your shortcomings, followed by irrational resolutions. Mine was, "After this weekend, I am seriously going to lose some weight."

I walked on stage, cracked a quick joke, and launched into a song called "Unstoppable." I was very subdued as I usually am when performing in a worship service context. But I was also very passionate as I was worshipping Christ for salvation. When I was done, I was surprised by the congregation's response. They clapped enthusiastically.

After Dr. Piper preached, I gave a full concert for a few hundred people. People bought so much of my merchandise and even gave money just wanting to bless the ministry I am doing! Later that evening, as I reflected on my experience at the church, I found myself moved to tears.

The Criticism Begins

I always tape my performances, so I uploaded the video to the Web and let Justin Taylor, a popular Christian blogger who has become a friend, know about it. He linked to the video on his blog and down came the rain. Word spread that John Piper had a rapper rap at his church during worship and people flipped out.

Next thing you know there were over a dozen blogs talking about this. I was excited at first because as an independent artist I thought this would make for good free publicity. But I grew concerned as I realized that many of my critics were not only harshly criticizing my music, but they were also criticizing the genre itself as un-Christian.

On one blog in particular, there were 34 pages of posts, over 20,000 views and whole lot of vitriol. Here's an example of one of the milder posts:

"I am arguing, however, that the God pictured in Isaiah 6 as high and lofty, The thrice-holy God, the One on whom even sinless angels dare not look, the One who scared the prophet to death, is not honored by music borrowed from the hip-hop scene, which even from Allen's on-line testimony, reminded him of his sinful past. "Holy hip-hop" as they call it, is an oxymoron, at least if holy means anything at all".

My personal favorite was this one:

"That said, though I'm grieved by the genre, I do rejoice that Allen gives testimony of Christ's saving power (Philippians 1:18). But his testimony about how God delivered him from sin & hopelessness would have been clearer without the thumping that not only surrounded his hopelessness, but helps push others further into it."

I was stunned by the comment. The music was not what surrounded my hopelessness. My sin produced my hopelessness.

Some people said they even doubted my conversion, saying I was clearly into Finneyism. I had no idea what that meant, but I knew I was being barbecued and I didn't like the sauce they were using! I read all 34 pages, laughed at most, and frowned at others. It was the first time in my life I read criticisms of me from people who don't know me or love me. It was brutal.

I was angry. I wanted to post some arrogant stuff back at some of those people. I wanted them to know that the majority of their comments were dripping with racism. I wanted them to know that their music preferences aren't necessarily God's preferences. I wanted them to know that I honestly didn't care what they thought.

I logged onto the site ready to rant. I found the e-mail address of the pastor who administrates the blog. I prepared to fire away.

But then I paused.

And then I told him how much I wanted to thank him. That's right. I thanked him. I told him I appreciated his desire to protect himself and his flock from what he thought was ungodly. I told him that I disagreed with his judgment that rap is sinful, but I said that I hope I protect my own family the same way he does his.

Grateful for the Criticism

Now how did I get from anger and judgment to encouragement and gratitude? It was through the cross of Jesus Christ. Let me explain.

The Holy Spirit brought to my mind a 1999 Journal of Biblical Counseling article called "The Cross and Criticism," by Alfred Poirer. The article pointed out that Christ's death on the cross criticizes us more than anyone else ever can. The fact that Jesus had to die for us to be forgiven indicates that we are a lot worse than we think.

"In light of God's judgment and justification of the sinner in the cross of Christ, we can begin to discover how to deal with any and all criticism. By agreeing with God's criticism of me in Christ's cross, I can face any criticism man may lay against me. In other words, no one can criticize me more than the cross has. And the most devastating criticism turns out to be the finest mercy. If you thus know yourself as having been crucified with Christ, then you can respond to any criticism, even mistaken or hostile criticism, without bitterness, defensiveness, or blame-shifting."

In other words, whenever you receive correction or criticism, look to the cross and see the ultimate critique of all you have done. Nothing we do apart from His Spirit is ever motivated by a love for Him or a desire to please Him (Romans 3:10-12, John 15:1-5). Even after salvation and our desire changes, at best our motives are mixed. This is humbling, I know. It is offensive to our pride.

The Lord also worked on my heart as I was beginning to write an angry e-mail to my critics. He showed me that I am not morally superior to them. He reminded me that I have slandered others and gossiped about others many times. How was I any better than these people? I could almost hear these questions, audibly, in my head. The Holy Spirit convicted me of my self-righteousness.

A Humble Response

After I sent my e-mail, I received a response from the pastor. The pastor and others on the Web site asked me to forgive them, and said that my response was more Christ-like than any of the criticisms that were made of me and my music.

I was grateful to God. He reminded me once again of the reality of my sin, the reality of the penalty for my sin, and then allowed me to glorify him in my response to intense criticism. I rarely respond humbly to criticism, but in this case, I was able to. And by God's grace, I'll continue to do so more and more.