I had just shut down my computer when there came a knock. Though I recognized the girl at the door, I didn't want to talk. "Hello. Will this take long? I'm just getting ready to leave."

She looked at the card taped on the door. "Aren't these your office hours? It says here "Thursdays, 2:00-5:00 p.m."

"That's right. This is Friday."

"It's Thursday. It must be. I just came from my Thursday class."

Anyone looking at me would have thought I'd forgotten to talk. After a few blank seconds, I said, "My stars and little comets. You're right. Please sit down." I sat too.

"I guess the stereotypes are true, huh?"

"About absent-minded professors? They are in my case. What can I do for you?"

She asked, "You do remember who I am, don't you?"

I laughed. "I'm bad that way too, but you're Tiffany. By the way, how did your retreat go?"

"That's what I'm here about. It melted down. We're talking with Dr. Loons about what went wrong, but since you'd given me advice about my presentation, I thought you might have some ideas too."

"Melted down? Do you mean everyone lost his temper?"

"No, I mean it melted. Liquefied. Turned into shapeless goo."

"Sounds like a faculty meeting."

"I'm not joking, prof."

"I'm not either. What happened?"

"I gave the talk on forgiveness after all. I told about all the times I'd done wrong, but how God was merciful and forgave me. I talked about how Jesus identified with sinners. I said nobody should put on airs, because everyone sins, and all sins are equally offensive to God, so really we're all the same. Whether my life is a success doesn't depend on how holy I am; it depends on the grace of God." She paused. "I thought I'd done pretty well. But then everything came apart."

"You mean your talk came apart?"

"No. I mean the discussion afterward." She shuddered.

"What happened?"

"One thing after another. One guy thanked me for the talk, and at first he seemed to be echoing what I'd said about forgiveness, but he seemed to think you didn't need to repent to be forgiven. That's when I got my first sinking feeling. I realized that I hadn't said anything about the need to repent. I'd just assumed they'd know that."

"Never assume."

"Yeah, I've heard that. Well, another guy corrected the first guy and said, no, you don't get a free ride, you have to repent. So I thought, good, he got me off the hook. But he, I mean the second guy, seemed to think repenting was just being sorry, and that you didn't need to actually change your life. So his saying that wasn't exactly an improvement."

"Did you correct him?"

"I was about to. I mean I was trying to think how to. I guess I hesitated too long, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Before I could say anything at all, another person, girl this time, jumped in and changed the subject. She said she liked what I'd said about Christ identifying with sinners. I thought, well, all right, you can't go wrong with that. Man, was I ever wrong."

"How were you wrong?"

"You know the parable about Jesus cursing the fig tree? Well, she mentioned the story — and then she said anger is a sin — and then she choked up and smiled tearfully and said, 'It's so wonderful — Jesus was a sinner, just like me! Sniff, sniff, kleenex, you get the picture."

"Oy."

"You can say that again. I didn't know where to start with her. At first I thought, well, I'd better explain the difference between sinful anger and righteous indignation, right? But then I realized that was a secondary issue. So instead I quoted Hebrews 4 whatever, 4:15, that's it, the verse about Jesus being able to sympathize with our weaknesses because he was tempted in every way like we are, yet without sinning. You'd be proud of me. I was so reasonable. But you know what? She just got mad at me. She was furious. And of course, since she was still sniffling and doing that thing with her kleenex, everyone else, everyone but Dr. Loons anyway, thought I was being mean to her, so they got made at me too! I still don't know what went wrong there! Do you have a clue?"

"It sounds to me," I said, "as though the young woman wasn't looking for someone who could forgive her sins, but for someone who would overlook them — who would say they didn't matter. See the difference?"

"Ye-ahh," she said, "I should have explained that too. But I couldn't have anyway, because another girl jumped in and started detailing all her sexual sins. I mean, right there, to everyone. Dr. Loons was very kind. He said, 'You don't have to go into all that, my dear.'"

"Then what happened?"

"She said, 'But doesn't the Bible say to confess your sins?' I wanted to say something about that, but I didn't know what to say, and then this other guy threw a curve and I forgot all about it."

"Threw a curve how?"

"He said, 'The last time I was home, my kid brother was asking me about sex, and I knew I should tell him to be abstinent, but I didn't feel that I had any authority to tell him that, because I was sexually active at his age too.' I asked, 'What's that got to do with it? What you did doesn't change whether abstinence is right or wrong, does it?'"

"Your point was completely logical, but let me guess: It didn't make a dent on him."

"No! How did you know?"

"That wasn't hard to guess. When we truly and completely turn away from a sin, we gain authority to call it what it really is, because the experience of repentance and forgiveness gives us insight. If that didn't happen with this young man, the reason is probably that his repentance was insincere or incomplete."

"Anyway," she said, "the discussion turned into utter chaos. I don't think I got the gospel across at all. And the retreat went downhill from that point on. You know, Professor Theophilus, I feel that it's all my fault."

"I doubt that, but there's no harm in recognizing that you made mistakes."

"I sure did."

"In fact," I added, "you already know what some of them are."

She answered, "I'd say I made two big ones. All the other mistakes flowed from just those two."

"What two big ones do you think you made?"

"The first one I knew already. I said too many things without explaining them, like what it means that Christ identified with sinners, and that you have to repent to be forgiven. I didn't give nearly enough information."

"I certainly agree with you so far. What was the other big mistake?"

"That one didn't start to become clear to me until just now, while we were talking. I still don't quite know how to say this. Minds need information, true, and I wasn't giving enough — but they aren't just tanks to be filled up with information. They do stuff. We mess with ourselves, in our minds, I mean."

"'We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts.'"

"Cool line, Prof. Yours?"

I smiled. "No. Much older."

PART TWO: TIFFANY'S DEVICES AND DESIRES