Am I obsessed about marriage?

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Am I obsessed about marriage?

May 11, 2000 |J. Budziszewski
Question

I'm 19 and in my second year of college. In the last year, I've had marriage on the brain. I think about it all the time. I want nothing more than to be a wife and mother, which I think is what God has for me. But I'm worried that I'm TOO focused on getting married. I pore over wedding magazines, read books on what makes a good marriage, and dream about what it will be like. I don't think any of these things are terrible in themselves, and I think I have a realistic view of marriage, but it's starting to monopolize my thought life. I have no boyfriend or marriage partner in mind, but I can't seem to "kick" this marriage obsession. What do you think?

Answer

There's certainly nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife and mother! But when you say that marriage is beginning to monopolize your thoughts, do you mean that it interferes with your concentration in general, or just with your concentration on your studies? If the former, then you need to see a counselor who is qualified to treat obsessions. If the latter, then perhaps you don't want to be at college. Or perhaps you do want to be, but you're in the wrong course of study. Could either of these be the case? You certainly seem intelligent, but there are lots of things intelligent young people can do. Give some thought to whether you should stay in college — and if you should, give some thought to what course of study you should pursue. Whether in college or out of it, make sure that you can support yourself while you're waiting for Mr. Right to show up.

Copyright 2000 J. Budziszewski. All rights reserved.

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