The other day a friend of mine told me she was a lesbian. The thing about it is she is a Christian and thinks it is OK with God. Being a Christian, I told her that I couldn't agree because the Word of God is against it. At first we were still friends, but now she says that we can't be. I have to talk to her about this, but I have no idea what to say. I've talked to a lot of people about the topic and most seem to be very confused. If you could please address this sometime, that would be great.
Actually I've written quite a bit about the subject for Boundless, because readers ask about it so often. If you use the Boundless "search" feature, in two shakes of a lamb's tail you can find everything we've got in the archives about it. If you click over to the Pure Intimacy website, you can read a brief article I've written about God's plan for human sexuality.
In the meantime, let me offer some advice for talking with your friend. Here are the three most important points to bear in mind:
1. Homosexual behavior is against the design of human nature. Men and women are indispensable to each other; they aren't interchangeable blocks.
2. The tree of homosexuality bears bad fruits. Sodomitical acts have not only external consequences like death, disease, and childlessness, but internal ones. Some of the internal consequences are psychological, like loneliness and compulsive behavior. Others are moral, for we cannot violate the human design yet expect things to go on as they were; "that road leads down and down."
3. To refuse limits on sexual desire is to make an idol of lust. In our day the most popular false gods aren't cats and crocodiles, but youth, beauty, money, fame, and sex. When a person pursues sexual desire even against the design of human nature — even at the risk of protracted and agonizing death; even when to do so she must overcome shame and disgust over her own acts — then it's a pretty safe bet that sexual desire has become her idol.
Now let me prepare you for the objections your friend is most likely to make:
1. "You shouldn't impose your morality on other people." Who is imposing what on whom? These days you can't even see a Calvin Klein commercial without being bombarded with homosexual imagery. Pedophile organizations regularly march in Gay Pride parades. If you tell your dormitory authorities that you don't want a roommate who digs your body, you may be required to attend pro-homosexuality re-education sessions.
2. "Gays aren't hurting anybody." It may make an impression on your friend that they are hurting each other. Does your friend know that the rate of syphilis among women who practice lesbianism is 19 times what it is among other women?
3. "God made them that way." If God made them that way, how is it that thousands have been able to escape the homosexual life?
4. "What if it's a loving, committed relationship?" The idea behind this objection is that same-sex mating is just like marriage — except that it's with the same sex. It isn't. Research by Alan R. Bell and Martin S. Weinberg shows that "close-coupled" homosexuals don't stop cruising, they just cruise less. Homosexual activist Andrew Sullivan say that heterosexuals should learn from the homosexual example to get over their hang-up about marital faithfulness. The committed homosexual relationship is a myth.
5. "You hate people like me." Your friend should already know that you love her. If loving enough to tell the truth gently sounds like hatred to those who don't want to hear it, you have done all you can; the Lord will understand.
I hope this helps.
Grace and peace,
Copyright 2001 Professor Theophilus. All rights reserved.