Is it worth it to spend time and effort to make friends?

Question

I recently graduated high school and began college. I’m at the point now where it feels like friendships and relationships are no longer worth the time invested to make them grow. Being separated and growing apart from old friends makes me feel like I have wasted my time for so long. Friends I do keep in touch with disappoint me so much that I again feel like relating to people is an exercise in futility.

Is caring for people either platonically or romantically supposed to feel like a blessing? It feels like a curse at the moment. Is losing and gaining friends, and the time spent doing that worth the struggle? Or are my expectations and priorities way off? Any encouragement would be appreciated.

Answer

I’ve heard myself say the same things: God, why are
relationships so hard? For one thing, God made us for
community. Period. He built us for fellowship — with Him
and others. That’s one of the tools He uses to transform us into
the image of His Son. Given that the last thing Satan wants is for
us to be transformed into Christ’s image, we should expect a
little heat over it.

Isolation requires nothing of us and robs others of our
life-giving gifts that God has given us to serve others. We are
part of a body, the body of Christ. The hand just can’t walk away
from the rest of the body. If it does, that for which it was
designed can no longer happen. It needs an arm, a shoulder,
legs, torso, etc. in order to function.

The iron that is being sharpened would agree with you:
“This feels more like a curse than a blessing.” But once the
sharpening is finished, it can then enjoy that for which it was
designed, and that’s the blessing. Yes, relationships are
probably the most difficult stuff of life to navigate and also the
most rewarding.

Blessings,

JOHN THOMAS

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About the Author

John Thomas

John Thomas has been a Boundless contributor since its beginning in 1998. He and his wife, Alfie, have three children and live in Arkansas, where he serves as executive director of Ozark Camp and Conference Center, a youth camp and retreat center.