Is it wrong for me to want to provide for my wife, including finances?

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Is it wrong for me to want to provide for my wife, including finances?

Oct 23, 2006 |John Thomas
Question

My girlfriend and I are discussing getting married soon, and are making preparations for how we will live together, etc. post-marriage. I am planning on playing music full-time after I finish school and as a result I may not have a significant income. She will be making good money, even enough to take care of both of us comfortably without my income at all. I am uncomfortable, though, with using the money that she earns to help me live successfully. I want to be able to provide financially, but I feel that one of the reasons God may be leading me toward my career and also toward marriage with her is to allow me to do what I love and also be with who I love. Is it wrong for me to want to take care of all of her needs, including finances? Is it prideful? How should I view this situation?

Answer

A temporary arrangement for you both to rely primarily on her income is fine, as long as she agrees. Temporary for two reasons: One, Scripture makes it clear that we men are to earn a living; and two, you will eventually start a family and you'll want to at least have the option of allowing your wife to stay at home with the kids if she chooses. That means you'll need to make an income that can provide for your family.

Both of you need to agree how temporary this season will be. As I've written before, my wife helped put me through seminary. Her salary was our primary source of income for a little over two years. But we both knew that was a temporary arrangement. My education not only prepared me for future ministry and career, but was also an investment in my potential income-earning down the road.

Finally, I'm not sure what you mean by "I'm planning to play music full-time ... and as a result I may not have a significant income." Playing music and earning money aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. Plenty of people get paid to play music. Why not be one of them?

Blessings,
JOHN THOMAS

Copyright 2006 John Thomas. All rights reserved.

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