How can I become a godly woman?

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How can I become a godly woman?

Sep 17, 2007 |Candice Watters
Question

In another Boundless advice column, John Thomas talks about "being and becoming" a biblical man. Would you throw in your thoughts on becoming a biblical woman?

I have trouble with this topic because it seems to me that manhood is "earned," whereas womanhood is just a fact about myself — if anything, my womanhood is something that I may need to transcend (these are observations from the wider culture, but I do not think they are always countered by the church). In other words, I feel like manhood is a trophy to be won, and womanhood is like a prize you get for participation.

I would also like you to address those of us who struggle with gender-identity issues. When trying to encourage friends of mine who don't feel manly or womanly (or manly or womanly "enough"), I have often referred back to the body God gave them ("well, friend, do you have the requisite parts?"). That seems to be a good way of reminding them that gender is a gift from God; therefore, it does not depend on our achievements.

So, to bring it back to my original question, I thought I was a "Christian (biblical) woman" because I am a female person who also loves Jesus. Whether I am a good Christian is another matter. But after reading John Thomas's answer about biblical manhood, I am wondering if, in my battle for spiritual growth, my femininity is also on the line?

Answer

This is a fantastic question. Thank you so much for being courageous enough to ask it.

In our culture, it's become accepted that men, by their nature, are brutes, jerks or buffoons, while women, by theirs, are loyal, smart and admirable. Men, bad. Women, good. That's the underlying worldview of the majority of the entertainment, education and even public policy (laws) that surround us. So it's not surprising that even Christians believe men — even Christian men — have to become biblical while women who know Christ already are.

The reality for both male and female is that we were created different (Jesus said, "Haven't you read ... that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female'"), we are all sinners ("all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"), and we all have the potential to be redeemed ("whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life," "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus"). Accepting Christ's gift of redemption is a decision that begins the process of sanctification. It's this process — this pilgrimage — that requires both male and female to actively work at becoming who God originally created us to be.

It's not enough to have the body parts. Or even to be saved. That's where it starts. But biblical femininity requires first, understanding what God designed woman to be and second, deciding to become that woman and living it out.

Several years ago I studied the Bible through a course called Five Aspects of Woman by Barbara Mouser. It not only answers the question — What is biblical womanhood? — but also gives lots of practical applications for being a biblical woman. Far from the stereotypical head-covered, docile, kitchen-bound caricature the media so loves to spoof, this is a serious study that embraces the complexity, creativity and beauty of God's design.

The Five Aspects, as described in the study, are:

Mistress of the Domain (Genesis 1) — Woman, like man, is created in God's image and has authority from God to rule, subdue and be productive. Because of sin, however, she both "abuses and abandons" her call to stewardship (characterized by manipulation, pride and domination, biblical example: Jezebel). As she is sanctified, she reclaims, with the help of the Holy Spirit, the areas of responsibility God has given her (her home, her studies, her work, her marriage, her children, etc.) to God's glory (characterized by humility, hope and productivity, biblical example: the Shunammite woman).

Helper-Completer (Genesis 2) — "Woman, from the man and for the man, completes him in his person and his work. As helper, she provides partnership in work, fellowship in body and spirit and membership in marriage." In our spirituality, at the foot of the cross, man and woman are alike. Both are in need of a savior, both able to accept salvation and find fullness in Christ. But in our humanity, male and female are different. Under the curse of sin, we are competitors. Once redeemed, we are complementary: a man, by God's design, needs help. A woman needs to give help. We fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

Lifegiver (Genesis 3) — God created women uniquely to literally bring forth new life. The ability to bear children is the obvious mark of His design. Women are also designed to nurture (this includes married and single women). Marred by sin, women despise, neglect or smother their children. The extreme example being abortion. The redeemed woman "does all she can to alleviate the suffering of others ... and eagerly seeks to have children, both physically and spiritually."

Lady of Wisdom (Proverbs 1-9, 31) — "Wisdom is the body of God's creation principles." In the book of Proverbs "she is personified as a woman." As created by God, she is the "inviter and hostess, reprover and teacher, counselor, protectress, patron and friend." In our fallen state, women model not wisdom, but folly. They deny truth and do what feels right, rather than what is right (biblical examples: Eve, Delilah, Potiphar's wife and the Proverbs woman of folly). Once redeemed, women can become wise by mastering skills and studying to develop their minds. Skillful and intellectual women are in a position to influence their world for God's kingdom (biblical examples: Proverbs 31 wife; Ruth; Esther and the wise woman of Abel).

Glory of Man (1 Corinthians 11, Ephesians 5) — As created, woman "glorifies her husband and her heavenly King with submission, adornment, purity and love. She emulates the church's membership, as her husband emulates Christ's headship." In her fallen state, woman makes her beauty an end in itself, leading ultimately to ugliness (shame, lust, pride and sexual perversion, for examples; see Isaiah 3 and Ezekiel 16). Once redeemed, a woman is free to use her beauty for the benefit of her heavenly father and when married, for her husband.

Because this trait is so interdependent on created man, a godly woman must "find a man who commands her respect and wins her love; to please, be beautiful for, desired and cherished by such a man."

As you can see, becoming godly is no less a process of learning and practice for women than it is for men. In summary, we must as men and women, strive for spiritual strength and maturity, "full of the basic virtues, if we are ever going to be a glory with the opposite sex.... Masculine authority does not limit [a woman's] giftedness; rather it increases the effectiveness of [her] labors."Quoted material, other than Scripture verses, are taken from Barbara Mouser, Five Aspects of Woman, (Waxahachie: International Council for Gender Studies, 2002).

Sincerely,
CANDICE WATTERS

Copyright 2007 Candice Watters. All rights reserved.

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