How can I be patient and wait until the Lord's timing for a mate?

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How can I be patient and wait until the Lord's timing for a mate?

Nov 20, 2012 |Candice Watters
Question

My name is Catherine, and I am 28. I enjoy my job and everything seems to be going well. Could you give me some suggestions about how I can be patient and wait until the Lord's timing for a mate? I'm pretty focused on my job and furthering my education, but every once in a while I begin to wonder what the Lord has in mind for me regarding dating and marriage. If you have any thoughts regarding this matter, I'd really appreciate your feedback.

Answer

Based on all I've read and written, I'm convinced that at this late stage learning patience should not be your goal. The average age for first marriages among women in the U.S. is currently 27. That's as high as it's ever been in history. So if marriage is your goal, I'd suggest you focus on it at least as much as you are your job and ongoing education. You say that "every once in a while" you wonder about God's will for you in dating and marriage. If you don't have the traits Jesus set forth in Matthew 19 that qualify and equip a believer for lifelong celibacy, then you can be confident His will for you is the same as it is for most believers: Get married and have children. I think too often we squander the decade of our 20s wondering if it's God's will for us to marry. The irony is that for the vast majority of us, He's already told us quite plainly that it is. (Genesis 2, 1 Corinthians 7, etc.)

God designed us to marry and start having children in our 20s. Our biology, fertility, sexuality, energy and beauty all reinforce that fact. Tragically, in our current culture, many women aren't realizing till their mid- to late-30s that their lack of intentionality (as well as a lack of initiative on the part of men) has consequences. For too many, a casual wait-and-see approach finds them missing out on marriage and children altogether.

It's time we stop wasting our most marriageable years wondering if we're meant for marriage and start doing what we can to get there. I'm not suggesting you find a guy and pop the question. And I'm not unaware that in this fallen world, some will remain single because of poor decisions on their part or the part of men who might have been their mates.

But I am encouraging young women to do what they can. That includes praying boldly, guarding your purity, not settling for buddy relationships with guys, developing your hobbies and seeking out mentors. For something as important as marriage it seems to me we ought to pour at least as must initiative and creativity into the process as we do our college degrees and careers.

Every blessing,
CANDICE WATTERS

Copyright 2012 Candice Watters. All rights reserved.

If you have a question you'd like us to consider for this column, please send it to editor@boundless.org. Please note that all questions we select for this column may be edited for clarity and privacy and become the property of Focus on the Family.

If you have a question you'd like us to consider for this column, please send it to editor@boundless.org. Please note that all questions we select for this column may be edited for clarity and privacy and become the property of Focus on the Family.

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