Am I Too Good at Being Single?

Last weekend I was at a charity gala with a few of my single girlfriends. We bid on a week in Mexico at the silent auction, and we won! As we excitedly started planning our trip, I stopped for a moment and thought, I’m kind of glad I’m single and can just decide on the spur of the moment to go to Mexico. Not that I wouldn’t have been able to go if I were married, but it wouldn’t have been as simple since it wouldn’t have been solely my decision and my money.

But then my next thought was, Oh, no! Does enjoying one of the benefits of the single life mean God will think I no longer desire marriage? Will He think I’m so good at being single that He’ll decide to keep me that way?

That line of thinking may sound a bit dramatic, but in talking with my other single friends, I’m not alone in feeling guilty for seeing the positive side of being single. The reality is that there are awesome things about being married (I would have loved to be planning a trip to Mexico with my husband) and awesome things that come with being single. Much like there are reasons for discontentment within marriage and singleness. The grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side; it’s greener wherever you decide to invest your time, emotions and energy making it greener.

For those who are single, we can spend so much time focusing on working toward marriage that we lose sight of the good things about our current state. And that doesn’t mean we desire marriage any less; it simply means that maybe, just maybe, we’re learning what it means to be content in whatever circumstances we’re in.

And while it’s not always easy to relate to God as a loving Father who is for us, the truth is He is. No matter what our circumstances say, He promises to withhold no good thing from those whose walk is upright (Psalm 84) and loves us even more than our earthly fathers. When we ask Him for bread, He won’t give us a stone, and when we ask for fish, He doesn’t tease us by giving us a snake instead (Matthew 7:9-11). And when we ask Him for anything, we can trust Him with the when and who and what of our deepest desires. And no matter how He answers, we can be thankful for the good things we do have.