Meeting Someone: the People You Know

Candice kind of beat me to the punch on this one in her Boundless Answers column this week, but along with going to the right places, meeting someone is also about knowing the right people.

Let me start with a story. Four years ago, my sister moved into a rental house with a girl she had taken ballet with since childhood. Because my sister lived in the small town where we grew up, our families had been acquainted for more than 10 years.

Shortly after Bekah moved in with her friend, the girl’s older brother began stopping by often, fixing things around the house, joining them for movie nights and helping to make dinner. He and Bekah hit it off, and their relationship grew quickly. As she got to know him, she learned that he had been investing his time in a men’s Bible study and planning and praying for a wife. In short, she discovered he was much different than the person she had known as her friend’s brother years before. They began dating and married less than a year later. Bekah never imagined that her friendship with a fellow dancer would lead her to her amazing, godly husband.

This is just one story of many I’ve heard where a couple met through a sibling, friend, parent, coworker, grandmother or mentor. True, people in your life may not always seem motivated to set up the singles they know. However, knowing people leads to knowing other people. Investing in all the relationships in your life and being open to new friends expands your network, increasing the number of people you meet.

In his column “Fishing in Other Ponds” John Thomas encourages guys, saying:

Don’t be shy about getting help and using your network of friends and family to get introduced to girls they think might be a good fit for you. Even in your small church, there are probably people who have friends from work or other churches who have daughters to whom they could introduce you. Let them know you’re hoping to meet a marriage-minded girl who loves Jesus and that you’d appreciate any help. You never know how God might use such a network.

Of course, you shouldn’t view friendships simply as a means to possibly meeting someone, but the bottom line is that developing close relationships with the people God has placed in your life is one of the most natural ways to meet a potential spouse. And it stands to reason that people you like would know other people you would like.

Now for a disclaimer: As many of you have pointed out in response to my previous post, going places and knowing people does not guarantee that you will meet a spouse. You may meet him or her in a way entirely unexpected. Or you may be in a holding pattern. But there is a God-part and a you-part when it comes to meeting someone. When you pray for a job, you fill out applications and go to interviews. In a similar way, when you pray for a spouse, you should frequent places where a spouse might be and know people who could possibly introduce you to someone compatible.

How have you seen the “people you know” concept come into play in your own romantic life or the life of someone you know?