Meeting Someone: the Places You Go

I’m going to tackle the issue of meeting someone in two posts: 1) The Places You Go; 2) The People You Know.

A question I hear over and over again from Christian singles is, “How do I meet someone?” You may greatly desire a godly relationship, but what if you’re not in a relationship and you never even meet any potential people to be in a relationship with? That’s a frustrating place to be.

In my article “Single While Active,” I talk about one barrier to marriage:

I have a friend who constantly laments that God has not given her a husband, but she never meets new people. She’s not involved in group activities or even a community at her church.

Ask a couple dozen married couples how they met, and you’ll hear some common answers: At a church event. In a class. At a party. In a small group. At a friend’s wedding. The point being: If you want to meet someone, you need to be where a potential spouse may be.

Whether you’re an outdoor enthusiast, a musician, a photographer or a movie connoisseur, find new places to develop your interests. Join a mountain biking club. Sign up for an art class. Volunteer for children’s ministry at your church. If you are looking for someone to share your life and passions, what better place to meet him or her than while pursuing those passions? Even if you don’t meet someone, you’re doing things you love.

Taking that a step farther, getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new people allows you to gain practice interacting with the opposite sex even if your Mr. or Miss Right isn’t there. And a word of caution about “Girls’ Night”: There’s nothing wrong with spending time with your same-gender friends. However, if you’re a woman who consistently chooses girls’ night over coed events, you may be limiting your opportunities to meet someone. Likewise, if you’re a guy who spends weekend nights hanging out with the guys rather than seeking out mixed-gender settings, how do you expect to meet that special lady?

Be intentional about venturing into new settings and groups of people. If you and I were sitting down over a cup of coffee right now, I would encourage you to pick an event to attend or new activity to try, dress your best and, when you get there, engage with at least one member of the opposite sex. Introduce yourself, and ask him or her a few questions. The point isn’t to score a date; the point is to meet new people and keep your social skills sharp. Not only does this set you up for future success, but it also increases self-worth and diminishes loneliness in the meantime.

Question to ponder: Is your stewardship of your time and social life leading you closer to a potential relationship and eventual marriage or further away?