Aaron and I were both hesitant about online dating. We were both from small towns in the Midwest, and the idea of meeting your spouse online was a little embarrassing, if not scary. I know I’d also kicked against the idea previously, because it seemed like it wasn’t waiting on God to bring your spouse. My mom even told me that when I broached the subject with her. But, at 27 years old, having never been in a relationship before, and going to a church that had one single male in it, I finally decided to take a friend’s continuous advice to try online dating.
Aaron, meanwhile, was having his 29th birthday as a single. He’d moved to Colorado to live near the glorious mountains, but as a consequence, was away from his family and friends he grew up with. He’d been in a few longer relationships previously, but none of them had worked out. He had turned down his dad’s suggestions to try online dating before, but now he felt like he might just test the waters and see what came about.
So that’s how we met: on our free two-week trial at ChristianCafe.com, Nov. 1, 2013. We had both been Boundless fans and had heard of ChristianCafe through various ads and podcasts on their site. I considered trying a different online dating service, but when I came across the one single male from my church on there (in whom I had no interest), I immediately decided against it. So one day Aaron’s profile was emailed to me as a possible match from ChristianCafe, and I promptly sent him a message. Not only was he one good-looking guy standing in front of some mountains, we had a lot in common. As we got to emailing back and forth, there were many things that made me feel at home with Aaron: his strong faith, his humor, his methodical brain, and just a general sensitivity, yet manliness. I didn’t feel like I needed to look any further for my dream guy.
We emailed for a while, started Skyping, and we finally met the day after Christmas. That was a butterfly-in-the-stomach day! Aaron came to my town, and we nervously made our way around different sites overlooking the Mississippi River, explored a cave, played games at a coffee shop — we even had supper at my parents’ house. Haha! I’m not sure why we did a double date with my parents, looking back on it, but it was a good day, even if he did go away thinking I didn’t like him. Oh, but I did like him! I have to admit that I intentionally didn’t move from the couch when he was leaving, because I was terrified he would try to kiss me. Not that I wouldn’t have liked that, but it was still a terrifying thought. I was also terribly shy and didn’t talk a whole lot. He left and called his best friend on the phone, disappointed that I didn’t seem to like him, until I texted and we ended up talking for three hours on the phone, happy as could be. Over the next year, that was our biggest hurdle: my learning how to express my thoughts to him, his being patient with me and believing that I did want to be with him.
Now, here we are, over a year after that first message, two months away from our anticipated wedding date. We’ve averaged about a visit a month between Colorado and Missouri and sometimes in his hometown in Iowa. We met each other’s family and friends, went to the mountains and camped with friends and skied, camped and canoed in Missouri. It was a lot of fun. Long distance is not ideal with relationships, but I can see how God used it in ours for good. I think and express myself better when I’m writing, and this gave me a chance to transition more easily. That being said, we’re both longing for the day when nightly phone calls and weekly Skype dates are a thing of the past. Even our premarital counseling is being done over Skype!
We’re going to settle in Colorado. That was something we talked about before we ever got very far in the relationship. It was important for him to be there, and I had no qualms about moving.
This has been a sweet time for both of us. I think we can both say with confidence that God was good to us in our singleness, and He has been good in giving us each other. He knows how to give good gifts, and we can only look back and trust His timing.
Are you engaged or newly married? We’d love to hear your story and how Boundless was helpful to you along the way! Email us at [email protected]. For more stories like this one, go to Engagement Stories.
Want to give online dating a try? Boundless recommends ChristianCafe.com and gives you a special offer of two weeks free! Learn more at ChristianCafe.com.