When I was younger, I had this feeling that I would find the man that I would marry in college. I was not boy crazy; I really loved God. Yet this feeling never changed.
However, throughout college I kept getting discouraged. Boundless was amazing and encouraging in some lonely times. I kept looking to Jesus and was able to do some amazing things while being single. Yet I still could not shake the feeling and question of, “When am I going to meet this man that God has in store?”
Fast forward to New Year’s Eve 2012. I knew that God had some life-changing moments to come. That night I met a guy, and we quickly fell in love. Our relationship was long-distance, so I read Boundless articles like crazy about how to make it work, if it could work and what to look for. This man loved the Lord and was everything I could want in a man, yet I had this tiny red flag saying he was not the man for me. And we eventually broke up.
It was a challenge for me to get over it. I never understood until the breakup what it felt like to literally be sick because of your emotional pain. People close to me kept saying how ridiculous I was for not getting over this guy sooner. They kept saying how silly it was of me. As an outsider, I would completely have said the same things before experiencing this situation.
Even as I would cry, I kept praying to God, asking Him to help heal me. I kept asking Him to fill me with His presence. I asked Him to turn this ugliness into something beautiful.
During this process, I remember praying, “Lord, I am done looking for love. You know my desires to be married someday, but now I truly give them to You. I ask for Your perfect timing and not mine. You, Lord, have the key to my heart.”
In three different ways, all on the same day, the Lord gave me a verse to help heal. It is Psalm 37:4. “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (NIV). There is more to this Psalm that I love, but that particular line kept running through my head. It was clear that I needed to focus on the Lord and trust Him.
At that point, I was in no place to date or had any desire to date. But then a new friend I met in dance class before we graduated was asking me on dates that summer. I was super apprehensive and not even really ready to date. I prayed, fasted and sought much advice. Finally, it seemed like God was saying, “Nicole seek Me. Rest in Me, and I will give you your answer.”
After much debate and waiting, I cautiously said yes to Chris. He showed the love of Christ in some of the most practical ways. He would literally give his friends the shirt off his own back. This selfless love that spoke louder than words was attractive. Yet I was still not sure. Chris kept pursing me. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide and not be vulnerable.
As I was praying one night, it dawned on me that God was using Chris to heal me. This may sound ridiculous, but it’s true. The moments that my former boyfriend had hurt me the most, Chris was always present.
Almost a year later to the day of my breakup, I woke up in the morning to my phone’s daily verse, and a new friend wrote me a card with Psalm 37:4 on it. That afternoon Chris proposed.
It amazes me how good our God is and how faithful He remains. Chris and I still have a lot of unknowns about the upcoming wedding. However, I fully trust the Lord to turn this next step into another beautiful story of His sovereignty.
For those who are still waiting, please rest in the presence of the Lord. Seek Him and lay your desires at His feet. Who knows how much more beautiful your story will become.
Are you engaged or newly married? We’d love to hear your story and how Boundless was helpful to you along the way! Email us at [email protected]. For more stories like this one, go to Engagement Stories.