Is he commitment shy?

advice header image
John Thomas

Is he commitment shy?

Apr 03, 2006 |John Thomas

What does it mean when you are dating a guy and everything seems to click (chemistry, you have fun together, you like the same things, have the same opinions, laugh at the same jokes, and you get along great, etc.), but he tells you he doesn't want a "steady girlfriend" right now? Is he just being commitment shy?


Maybe. If that's the case, and you want to move him off "dead-center." It sounds like you're ready to take your relationship to the next level and give it some meaning beyond "having fun." Good for you. Don't fall into the mode of enabling his passivity by accepting the status of being a "non-steady dat-ee." Right now, he has absolutely no incentive to be "steady" with you. He's having fun, drawing emotional energy from you, without any commitment required of him. He's got it all. Don't let him do that.

If he truly doesn't want a steady girlfriend, but you want to be his steady girlfriend, then let him know, and if he won't commit, let him go.


Copyright 2006 John Thomas. All rights reserved.


Like what you see?

If you’ve enjoyed this article, will you consider giving a tax-deductible gift to Boundless right now? We’re a donor-funded ministry, and we rely on friends like you to help keep us going! DONATE NOW »

  • .

Weekly Boundless goodness in your inbox

Sign up for our e-newsletter and receive a free chapter from the hit book, The Dating Manifesto, by Lisa Anderson.