Should I wait to get married until after I have a steady income?

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Should I wait to get married until after I have a steady income?

Apr 03, 2006 |John Thomas
Question

I'm a 20-year-old guy courting a wonderful woman about two years my senior. Our relationship couldn't be any better right now. With her being in grad school already and my undergrad degree taking four more years, the talks of marriage are occurring more and more often, which is fine with me.

The only thing we are worried about is, we want to be married after I graduate, but I plan on going to grad school, and I won't be able to generate the income I feel that a husband should have when he is to be married. I'm also worried about the effects it will have on how friends and family will view my girlfriend and me. I have no problem with her having a higher income; I just was wondering if it is wise for us to be married and in that kind of situation. Or should we just wait until I have finished my education?

Answer

Being the spiritual leader of a relationship does not necessarily equate with having the higher income, especially during specific seasons of life, such as the one you're describing. My wife put me through seminary, and now I'm putting her through motherhood. We're a team with a common goal: what is best for us as a couple and a family, and what brings the most glory to God.

Yes, during seminary it was tough for me as a man to not have much income, but we were answering a call on our lives — together — and we both bought in. Also keep in mind that I wasn't just sitting around reading thick systematic theology books in my free time. I did everything I could to chip in — mow lawns, odd jobs, part-time employment — as much as I could do and still keep my studies up and my marriage strong (in fact I had to stay out one semester and work full time to get caught up on tuition). If your fiancé-to-be is OK with the arrangement, then don't let it delay your marriage goals.

Blessings,
JOHN THOMAS

Copyright 2006 John Thomas. All rights reserved.

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