I’ve recently been thinking a lot about God’s participation in my love life. Mostly, I’ve been wondering to what extent He cares about it. There was a time when I believed that the Lord was carefully preparing and refining my future spouse and orchestrating the exact events that would bring us together. I still want to believe that, but it’s a struggle.
Does God really care about who I marry? Is my waiting period part of His plan or just a side-effect of a culture confused about marriage? Is marriage a standard-issue arrangement ordained by God or is He interested in my specific choice? My theology on this will deeply affect the way I view my Heavenly Father and His involvement in my life. It will impact how I go about relationships. It will affect the way I live while I’m waiting.
As I considered my current state of disillusionment with my former view, I thought it would be helpful to consider again some of the basic truths about God’s purpose for and involvement in human relationships.
One foundational truth about my singleness is God sees my need. Moments after creation, God takes a personal interest in Adam’s lonely state. “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). God did not create humans to live in isolation. He designed us to long for and experience companionship and love. And if He had compassion toward Adam’s loneliness, I can trust that He sees and understands mine.
Not only did God see Adam’s need; He responded to it in a specific way. “I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). As a remedy to Adam’s loneliness, God created Eve. God designed her to be Adam’s helper. It’s true that we don’t know if “helper suitable for him” was simply talking about Eve’s complimentary attributes as a woman. But this declaration seems to show God’s detail in providing a perfect match for Adam.
I know a lot of singles who wish they were married. For most of us, these circumstances seem out of our control. It is easier to trust someone when you believe he cares. The Lord is compassionate toward singles. Adam started out as one. It seems a little unfair (to me) that Adam’s match materialized almost immediately while mine is slow in coming. But in God’s dealings with Adam, we discover two realities: 1. God established marriage as the antidote to a basic human need (“It is not good for the man to be alone”); 2. God was concerned about the individual fit of the relationship (“a helper suitable for him”).