Is being engaged enough to make love?

Question

I am a Christian woman, but something is confusing me. I’ve been engaged to a Christian guy for over a year now, but we’re not living together. We’ve both been introduced to each other’s families, and they’ve accepted us. The church we attend has also accepted us. But we are confused about one thing. Is being engaged enough to make love? Is it biblically right?

Please help us walk on the right road and not disappoint God.

Answer

The short answer is no, being engaged is not enough to “make love.” Out of the context of marriage, it’s called illegitimate sex. Thankfully Theophilus has already discussed this question in some detail. You’ll find his answer in the classic article, “More Fallout: Premarital Sex”

This question is a great reminder of why long engagements are such a bad idea. When you’ve found the man you’re going to marry, get married. I was engaged for three months. And I highly recommend short engagements. They greatly aid in a couple’s decision to stay sexually pure before the wedding.

Sincerely,

CANDICE WATTERS

Share This Post:

About the Author

Candice Watters

Candice Watters is the author of “Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen.” She and her husband, Steve, created Boundless in 1998 and she served as editor before heading home to raise four children. Now that they’re grown and nearly so, she is a freelance writer and editor of FighterVerses. You can read more of her writing at WORLD, DesiringGod and FamilyMaking.