Is being engaged enough to make love?

Question

I am a Christian woman, but something is confusing me. I’ve been engaged to a Christian guy for over a year now, but we’re not living together. We’ve both been introduced to each other’s families, and they’ve accepted us. The church we attend has also accepted us. But we are confused about one thing. Is being engaged enough to make love? Is it biblically right?

Please help us walk on the right road and not disappoint God.

Answer

The short answer is no, being engaged is not enough to “make love.” Out of the context of marriage, it’s called illegitimate sex. Thankfully Theophilus has already discussed this question in some detail. You’ll find his answer in the classic article, “More Fallout: Premarital Sex”

This question is a great reminder of why long engagements are such a bad idea. When you’ve found the man you’re going to marry, get married. I was engaged for three months. And I highly recommend short engagements. They greatly aid in a couple’s decision to stay sexually pure before the wedding.

Sincerely,

CANDICE WATTERS

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About the Author

Candice Watters

Candice Watters is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen, and co-author with her husband, Steve, of Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies. Together they created Boundless in 1998. Little did they imagine how quickly 25 years would pass and that today, they’d have four children, two of them old enough to read Boundless for themselves.