Is he commitment shy?
Maybe. If that’s the case, and you want to move him off
“dead-center.” It sounds like you’re ready to
take your relationship to the next level and give it some
meaning beyond “having fun.” Good for you. Don’t fall into the
mode of enabling his passivity by accepting the status of being a
“non-steady dat-ee.” Right now, he has absolutely no incentive
to be “steady” with you. He’s having fun, drawing emotional
energy from you, without any commitment required of him. He’s
got it all. Don’t let him do that.
If he truly doesn’t want a steady girlfriend, but you want to
be his steady girlfriend, then let him know, and if he won’t
commit, let him go.
Copyright 2006 John Thomas. All rights reserved.
About the Author
John Thomas has been a Boundless contributor since its beginning in 1998. He and his wife, Alfie, have three children and live in Arkansas, where he serves as executive director of Ozark Camp and Conference Center, a youth camp and retreat center.