Is he commitment shy?

Question

What does it mean when you are dating a guy and everything seems to click (chemistry, you have fun together, you like the same things, have the same opinions, laugh at the same jokes, and you get along great, etc.), but he tells you he doesn’t want a “steady girlfriend” right now? Is he just being commitment shy?

Answer

Maybe. If that’s the case, and you want to move him off
“dead-center.” It sounds like you’re ready to
take your relationship to the next level and give it some
meaning beyond “having fun.” Good for you. Don’t fall into the
mode of enabling his passivity by accepting the status of being a
“non-steady dat-ee.” Right now, he has absolutely no incentive
to be “steady” with you. He’s having fun, drawing emotional
energy from you, without any commitment required of him. He’s
got it all. Don’t let him do that.

If he truly doesn’t want a steady girlfriend, but you want to
be his steady girlfriend, then let him know, and if he won’t
commit, let him go.

Blessings,

JOHN THOMAS

Copyright 2006 John Thomas. All rights reserved.

About the Author

John Thomas

John Thomas has been a Boundless contributor since its beginning in 1998. He and his wife, Alfie, have three children and live in Arkansas, where he serves as executive director of Ozark Camp and Conference Center, a youth camp and retreat center.