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Should I wait to get married until after I have a steady income?

Should I wait to get married until after I have a steady income?


I’m a 20-year-old guy courting a wonderful woman about two years my senior. Our relationship couldn’t be any better right now. With her being in grad school already and my undergrad degree taking four more years, the talks of marriage are occurring more and more often, which is fine with me.

The only thing we are worried about is, we want to be married after I graduate, but I plan on going to grad school, and I won’t be able to generate the income I feel that a husband should have when he is to be married. I’m also worried about the effects it will have on how friends and family will view my girlfriend and me. I have no problem with her having a higher income; I just was wondering if it is wise for us to be married and in that kind of situation. Or should we just wait until I have finished my education?


Being the spiritual leader of a relationship does not
necessarily equate with having the higher income, especially
during specific seasons of life, such as the one you’re
describing. My wife put me through seminary, and now I’m
putting her through motherhood. We’re a team with a common
goal: what is best for us as a couple and a family, and what
brings the most glory to God.

Yes, during seminary it was tough for me as a man to not
have much income, but we were answering a call on our lives
— together — and we both bought in. Also keep in
mind that I wasn’t just sitting around reading thick systematic
theology books in my free time. I did everything I could to chip
in — mow lawns, odd jobs, part-time employment
— as much as I could do and still keep my studies up and
my marriage strong (in fact I had to stay out one semester and
work full time to get caught up on tuition). If your
fiancé-to-be is OK with the arrangement, then don’t let it
delay your marriage goals.



Copyright 2006 John Thomas. All rights reserved.

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About the Author

John Thomas

John Thomas has been a Boundless contributor since its beginning in 1998. He and his wife, Alfie, have three children and live in Arkansas, where he serves as executive director of Ozark Camp and Conference Center, a youth camp and retreat center.


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