I have a hard time believing people value my presence. I tell myself things like, “Nobody wants to hang out with me” or “I didn’t get invited on their trip — they must not like me.”
These are lies. At the very least, they are half-truths. It’s possible that some people don’t want to hang out with me — but it’s a lie that nobody does. It’s true that I didn’t get invited on a trip with friends — but the trip was for those turning 30. I was excluded because I’m 32, not because I’m unliked.
In the first few years of our marriage, my husband and I established “ideals” to uphold in our family. One of them is “Shirins don’t believe lies.” We realized how often we spoke things as truth when they weren’t, and we wanted to change that. Whenever I voiced a self-defeating thought, my husband would gently call it out by saying, “That’s a lie and Shirins don’t believe lies.” His words made me pause and examine what I was accepting as truth. Over time, this practice has helped me recognize and replace lies with what is actually true.
We all lie to ourselves — it’s part of our nature. Brené Brown explains that when we struggle, we create stories — whether true or not — to make sense of our pain. We must first acknowledge the story we’re telling, then determine if there is truth in it or if it is a lie. Believing lies becomes easier the more we allow them to take up space in our head. As John Mark Comer says , “Ideas have power only when we believe them.”
How to stop believing lies
Fighting the lies we tell ourselves requires us to go on offense — a defensive posture is not enough. Satan, the father of lies, wants to defeat us. He’d love for us to live out of our lies and remain discouraged, angry, fearful and ineffective. With God’s help, we can defeat Satan’s lies using the following steps.
1. Identify the lie.
Paul instructs us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Likewise, 1 Thessalonians 5:21 reminds us to “test everything; hold fast what is good.” When you are telling yourself a story, take your thoughts captive and evaluate them. Hold on to the parts that are good and true, not the parts that are a lie. I often ask myself, “Would God say that about me?” or “Would someone I love say that about me?” These questions help me assess the thought going through my brain, then discern the parts that are true and the parts that are lies.
2. Fight the lie with Scripture.
Once we’ve identified the story we are telling ourselves as a lie, we need to combat that lie. The best way to do this is to fight it with truth found in God’s Word. Here are some examples:
The lie I believe: “I have no purpose. I’m useless.”
The truth of Scripture: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6). God created you for a purpose, and with His help you will fulfill it.
The lie I believe: “I’m damaged goods. God can’t fix me.”
The truth of Scripture: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). God redeems and restores our brokenness. In Christ, you are made new.
The lie I believe: “I’m unlovable.”
The truth of Scripture: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you” (Jeremiah 31:3). God’s love for you is eternal and unwavering. He loves you because you are His!
If you’re unsure of a good Scripture verse to fight a lie you’re believing, don’t be ashamed to search online or ask a pastor or friend. I don’t have every verse for every one of my lies memorized. That said, once you identify your core lies and some great Scriptures to counteract them, you may want to write out those verses and have them ready. Even memorize them if you can.
3. Ask others to fight with you.
As I mentioned above, my husband helps me recognize my lies, and I do the same for him and my friends. When a friend says something about herself that I know to be false, I gently correct her by saying, “That’s not true about you.” Then I speak truth over her, whether it’s a direct statement about her character or a verse that comes to mind. Speaking the truth over one another has power, and as you make a habit of affirming others, you’ll find it easier to challenge your own lies.
4. Don’t forget the power of prayer.
God himself is our biggest advocate in fighting Satan and his lies. Pray continually for a renewed mind, victory over temptation, and the ability to believe and obey God. Then praise God for His goodness and faithfulness to you as you walk forward in faith.
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Believing lies comes naturally, but combating them requires practice. This is why we must consistently take our thoughts captive and measure them against God’s truth found in Scripture. Believe what is true, friend. Stop believing the enemy’s lies. God loves you, and it’s time you believe what He says about you. You are infinitely valuable to Him.
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