Let’s be real here. Christmas season is one of the loneliest season’s for many people, especially single people. In fact, it just might be the loneliest day second only to Feb. 14’s Single’s Awareness Day.
With songs like “All I Want For Christmas Is You” and “Let’s Make A Little Christmas Tonight,” the Christmas season is a time where love and romance is on the rise. After watching multitudes of movies about Santa finding someone their soul mate or someone receiving true love for Christmas, singles might begin to feel a bit downhearted about their relationship status. So much so, in fact, that their mind might blow out of proportion every little romantic occurrence they witness.
It might seem to you that every person on earth is stressing out about getting that perfect romantic gift for their special person of interest or that too many people are spending too much quality time underneath the mistletoe. With college kids seemingly coming back in large quantities with a boyfriend or girlfriend tied to their waist, and engagement notifications flying right and left across your Facebook newsfeed, all you might be able to think is, “Come on! All these people have their special someone, why can’t I? If I see one more couple all bundled up walking hand in hand underneath the moonlight snow, I am going to scream!”
This might be a bit extreme of course, but there are many people out there who are down and out about their lack of a relationship. I was certainly one of those for a few of my past Christmases.
And you might be having those same depressed feelings right about now.
Let me first acknowledge that pain. God has given us a need and a desire for companionship. Adam had it when he was all alone in the garden, and you have it, too. He looked around and saw that everything else had a mate, but he was alone. This is how you might feel. Everyone else seems to have a special someone, but you are left with no one. Your pain is real, and it might seem overpowering sometimes.
In response to that pain, we could certainly talk about many different things. We could discuss different methods of coping through singleness, or highlight different methods of getting a date; but I don’t think that those things will help the real problem.
Let me tell you about a lie that many people have told themselves: When I finally meet somebody and get married, then I will be happy. Now this might or might not be something that you tell yourself consciously, but it is definitely an unconscious belief that every human being has clung to at certain points of their life.
Marriage is a good and wonderful gift from God, and mankind naturally will take these good gifts and exalt them over the Lord himself. In our sinful nature it is easy to allow things like marriage to have too much of an importance to us. Yes, marriage is a blessing, but if we allow it to become our identity, it will fail us every time. When you finally meet somebody and get married, you will still have moments of unhappiness.
A truth that we see in Scripture is that the Lord is so much better. He tells us that He has created us and that He knows the longings of our hearts (Psalm 139:13, Psalm 38:9). He tells us that He is going to give us good gifts and that He will never fail us (Matthew 7:11, Deuteronomy 31:8). He calls after us, desiring for us to follow after Him as our God and to put our identity in Him (Luke 14:25-34).
The Lord cares about our desires, but He wants us to follow His will whether we get what we want or not. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul asked God to take away an affliction from him. He asked three times. Three times the Lord responded with a no, but God told Paul that His grace was sufficient for him. It is God’s grace that will lead us through this life, not a relationship with a human being.
So maybe take a few moments and talk to the Lord about who your god is. Is the Lord first in your heart, or has the desire for a relationship become an idol in your life? If it has, ask the Lord to rearrange your heart to match His. Rest in who God is. Find joy in His character and His promises. Then, even though you are still single and still desire a relationship, you have the Lord as your God, and you can have a Merry Christmas!