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Avoiding Married-Speak


I ran across an article that offers great advice to married people on befriending singles. One point, that I have experienced first-hand, is regarding the awkward things married people sometimes say:

I have yet to find a witty response to the common small-talk question, “So, are you married?” After I reply, “No,” there’s usually an awkward silence that I feel compelled to fill with an inane comment such as, “But I’m not against it or anything.” I wish strangers would take a few seconds to glance at the empty ring finger on my left hand and save me the conversational agony! The similar question, “So, are you seeing anyone?” yields similar results. If the answer’s no, you’ve dead-ended the conversation again. If it’s yes, we singles usually bring it up before you can ask.

Another vexing question is, “So, why aren’t you married yet?” As if there were a specific answer to that, such as “Well, I guess I’m just not pretty enough.” As with so many things in life, there are no easy answers — other than we just haven’t met God’s best for us yet.

These questions can be frustrating. I mean, really. What do you expect us to say? One of my single friends recently joked, “I just tell them, ‘I have some fairly significant personality issues.’ ”

My married friends are some of the most encouraging people in my life. By focusing on our shared goal of glorifying the Savior, these friends help me grow in my trust of the Lord and live for Him in the moment He has given me. Courtney says:

I enjoy how my married friends bring a different perspective to my life; they offer a realistic picture of marriage, humor from their funny stories about their kids, and balance to the people who comprise my community of faith.

I feel the same. I hope that I bring something important to their lives as well. That’s what the Body of Christ is all about.


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