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Dear Overweight Woman

And you are dear. I’ve been overweight and I’ve been the ideal weight, and I know the frustration and discouragement and agony that attends the former. But do not despair. There is hope. The overweight believer has just as much reason to hope for marriage as does the physically ideal one. Why? Because God is able. And marriage is a gift from Him; not a reward for those who manage to fit the current ideal of beauty.

Your worth and value come not from a number on the scale, or even from your ability to cut calories and get yourself to a gym to shed unwanted pounds — and believe me when I say I understand how unwanted they are! Regardless of your girth, you are precious. You are valued. You are worthy, because you are the crown of creation (1 Peter 3:18). You are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26). And yet you are utterly unworthy. Apart from Christ we are all unworthy (Romans 3:23, Luke 17:10). And we all stumble in many ways (James 3:2). Your sin is painfully visible. But it is not insurmountable.

You have the same access to the Risen Lord; to the One who said, “Your sins are forgiven, now go and sin no more” (John 8:11).

It won’t be easy. But the desire to please God — to honor Him with your body (1 Corinthians 6:20) — is a powerful motivator. And He will send the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, to help you (John 14:16). It is possible to overcome obesity. But the goal should never be to turn a head or even snag a mate. The ultimate goal and the one that has the power to change you, is God’s glory.

I love what David Platt writes in his book, Radical, in his chapter about the disciples. What a rag-tag group they were with little to recommend them as the right men to spread the Gospel through all the earth. Yet, he writes, “This is the design of God among his people. He is giving unlikely people his power so it is clear who deserves the glory for the success that takes place.”

Is it harder to attract a man when you’re morbidly obese? Yes. Is it impossible? No. Is it just too difficult to imagine that you could lose weight and get fit? With God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). And the more difficult your situation, the more glory God stands to receive when you are victorious through Him. (Two Christian women: Mandisa and Chantel Hobbs come to mind as good role models for the journey.)

Ask God to be glorified in your story. Even as you long and pray for a husband. Ask Him to help you lose weight, to guide you to people and plans that can help you develop a healthy lifestyle. And ask Him to write the story of your life in such a way that when you tell it, you will be able to make much of Him! I am praying for you.


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About the Author

Candice Watters

Candice Watters is the editor of, a weekly devotional blog helping believers fight the fight of faith by memorizing Scripture. She is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen. In 1998, she and her husband, Steve, founded Boundless.


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