Boundless is all about making intentions clear, defining the relationship, and so on. But despite the best of intentions, sometimes things can get out of hand.
A young lady I know — OK, my daughter, Hannah — related a recent incident in which she found herself in a situation that caught her by surprise. Nothing sinister or dangerous, just a date that she didn’t realize was a “date” until it was too late.
She was talking to a friend who just happened to be of the male persuasion. A brief discussion about craving frozen yogurt turned into a trip to the local Berry Cool. After ordering, she suddenly realized that she hadn’t thought things through completely.
Am I paying for myself? she thought. Should I get out money to pay?
She couldn’t complete the thought or the action. “My treat,” he said.
Oh, crap! she thought. I’m on a date! How’d that happen?
There was nothing underhanded or deceptive. She assures me her “date” is really a nice, decent guy. She apparently just had a different idea going into the trip to the yogurt store than he did. And the kicker is that she knew he was interested in her in more than just a “friends” way.
Is it realistic to ask, “Is this a date, or just friends going out for yogurt?” Would you have a DTR talk before hopping in the car with a friend for what you think is an innocent ride for a frozen treat? Somehow I suspect not. The world is full of good advice that sometimes is hard to apply in sudden situations. That’s why it pays to think in advance how you will handle different situations.
So now Hannah faces the not-fun task of letting him down — easily. She needs to have “the talk” about how she likes him as a friend, but … (Guys, I’m sure some of you know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that talk.)
So, a few questions. Have any of you found yourself in a similar situation? What did you do? If not, what would do if you suddenly found yourself on a “date” you neither wanted nor intended?