Last year I affirmed that dating is just fine. If it’s characterized by intentionality, purity, community and Christian compatibility, then dating is a great way to get to know someone better and gain clarity about whether he or she is the one the Lord wills for you to marry.
A date starts with asking someone out on a date. So here’s my question: What are some ways that guys can ask girls out on a first date? And what are some great first date ideas?
One day some eight years ago, I noticed a new girl at church. She was pretty, and seemed confident, and was studying film in grad school. I wanted to get to know her (and wanted her to get to know my good side), so I figured we had to spend some time together.
Whenever I had group get-togethers at my home, I made sure to invite her (and made sure she knew she could bring a friend, too). So one time a small group of us played cards on my living room floor. It was kind of a “date,” but without the one-on-one awkwardness or commitment.
Another time, I light-heartedly invited myself (along with my roommate) over to her apartment to taste-test her vegetable lasagna. While there, I looked over her bookshelf and asked unusual questions, which showed that I was both interested in her and that I was an intriguing guy with intriguing questions.
Another time, she came over with some friends while I was doing some Protools audio editing on an album my band was putting together. I set up a microphone and invited her to record some Scripture, which I’d include at the end of one song. She agreed.
At one party, a few months after we became friends, I asked her if she would consider being in a relationship with me. She said she’d get back with me. A couple of days later, she asked me to drive her to the airport. During the ride, she said that she would enter into a courtship with me. And so, at the airport, we chatted a bit about what that might look like.
During our courtship, we went on a number of fun dates. We flew kites together. We went to the park and wrote down words that we wanted to describe our relationship (pure, fun, serving, good communication, etc.). We visited her family in Florida. The most awkward date was actually a DTR at a little deli near my home — which is one reason maybe I think that restaurant dates can be a little difficult. Too much pressure or innuendo, sometimes.
Anyway, though I eased into dating the woman whom I went on to marry — starting with casual chats at church and group get-togethers that included her — I was intentional in facilitating the relationship.
Hm. OK, I’m getting ahead of myself here. The question is: What are some good ways to ask a girl out on a first date, and what are some great first date activities?
Copyright 2010 Ted Slater. All rights reserved.