Yesterday, Thomas Jeffries considered whether or not Boundless is biased against guys because it challenges them to take the lead in relationships, pay for dates and be less visually oriented in their assessment of women. You gave some interesting feedback.
I’d like to ask the opposite. Is Boundless too hard on single women?
- Women are encouraged to at times downplay their career success, academic achievements and financial gains in order to make themselves more available and attractive to men.
- In a similar vein, women are encouraged to consider turning down job promotions, further education, home-buying opportunities and relocations if they might jeopardize a relationship opportunity. And beyond marriage, they are challenged to consider embracing traditional family roles such as staying home with their children.
- Women are encouraged to maintain their physical appearances — through exercise, healthy eating, stylish dressing and make-up — to attract the opposite sex.
- Women are challenged to respond to all men (even those who seem inferior) with humility, grace and gratefulness. In addition, they are encouraged to not consider the current condition of the man but rather his potential — trying to look ahead to what he might be one day.
- Though it is acknowledged that women hold less control in marriage-making than men do, they are confronted with statistics about infertility and the detriments of late marriage, making it seem at times as if they have “missed the boat.”
I don’t hear the women around here complain much about these messages. Instead, I see them grapple with them: “Who am I supposed to be? Do I become a wishy-washy version of myself and abandon the opportunities God has provided in the hope that a guy will see me as marriage material?” I think this demonstrates a true desire in women to embrace the calling God has on their lives, whatever that may be.
These issues must be addressed. A woman who is unwilling to ever bend on her own successes or make sacrifices for the sake of getting married, may miss out on this opportunity. At the same time, if she desires marriage and is waiting with no man in sight, she must live in a way “worthy of the calling” in the meantime, which means exercising her gifts and all she is for the sake of Christ. The question is whether we are providing truth in a loving way.
As a single woman, do you believe Boundless sends you the right messages to help you to embrace your calling? Do you think it’s fair to the plight of the single woman? Is the information here helpful, frustrating, enlightening, strict, truthful, empowering?