Did God bring my husband and me together?
I believe He did.
At least that’s what it felt like.
I was 30 and had experienced my share of dead-end crushes and even a few relationships (or friend-lationships). During that time, I’d tried my hardest to stay as close to the Lord as possible and trust His leading. I prayed for a husband (not as faithfully as I should have and mostly in lonely, desperate moments). I tried to be the kind of woman someone would want to marry. And I built friendships with members of the opposite sex so I might at least have “possibilities.” But most days it felt like my efforts were pretty fruitless.
And then it happened. We met through random circumstances at a coffee shop and “happened” to discuss a topic near to both of our hearts during our very first conversation. Then this man who had been a stranger to me just a month before, got a job at my church … in children’s ministry … where I served. And a few months later he asked me to co-lead a young adult small group with him.
The pieces came together so effortlessly, that I felt (and still do) that God was playing matchmaker. I realize not all love stories are as dramatic as mine, but there still seem to be divine elements in each.
In this week’s Boundless Answers column, a reader asks if God “brings people together” or if marriages happen more as a result of our choices. Essentially this boils down to a God’s sovereignty versus our free will question. I like John Thomas’ answer:
In practical terms I see it like this: I follow Christ by growing in intimacy with Him. As I abide in Him, I learn to walk in rhythm with Him. I do not worry about where we are going, but rather trust His leadership, because I am convinced, as I said above, that where He takes me will be for my eternal good and for His glory and pleasure.
He leads me to jobs, ministry opportunities, educational opportunities, relationships, a spouse or whatever else it is He has planned for me. My primary focus never leaves Him as He brings these things into my life. I understand them for what they are, gifts from His hand, or tools in His hand, or both — all designed for what? All together now: “My eternal good and His glory and pleasure!”
If God has marriage in your future (and odds are He does), then there are a million ways He could bring a spouse into your life, and somehow He’ll use your choices, the choices of your spouse to be, and His sovereignty to make it happen.
This side of heaven, I don’t know if we can adequately answer the question of whether God “brings people together.” But His Word assures us that He is personally involved in, and concerned with, our lives. Looking back on my own story, both my choices and God’s sovereignty played a part. I made choices that kept me close to Him, such as connecting and serving at a local church, remaining pure and praying for a husband. And I believe those choices positioned me well for the day when the right someone would pursue … but God was the One who knew when that would happen, and ultimately if that would happen.
That said, I think God’s personal involvement in our love lives is more than just a nice idea. He is intent on working in me for my eternal good and His glory and pleasure. He does millions of amazing things every day to accomplish His purposes. And, for me, one of those was bringing me together with a godly man through some unexpected circumstances.
What do you think? Does God play matchmaker?