As I thought about how to wrap up this series, every point that came to mind seemed to fall under the umbrella of one I’ve already made. So I’m just going to close with a few “mini-insights” for the road:
A question answered. A friend once told me that a woman’s primary question in life is, “Am I desirable?” This question is the foundation of much of the angst of single life for women — at least it was for me. There was a certain insecurity I had as a single, hoping that I was desirable but questioning it in the absence of a suitor. Then Kevin came along, and just like that, the question was answered. God used him to show me that I was desirable. Part of me wishes I would have gone to the Lord more frequently in my singleness to feel His affirmation, love and desire for me instead of grasping at it in my social interactions. But having this question answered is certainly one of the functions of marriage and tells us something about our Savior who is our groom.
A word about “the one.” As a single, I steered clear of the idea that God had prepared one specific person for me (or any single) to marry. While I think it’s healthy to realize that there are probably many individuals you could marry and be happy with (instead of stressing over finding that one-in-a-billion person), on this side of marriage, I see how God lovingly orchestrated my meeting, courtship and marriage to my husband. That process is unique, and I do believe Kevin and I were specifically chosen for one another. [See my post on God’s romantic heart.]
I’m made for this. When I was single, I hoped that I would one day marry and have a family, but I wondered if I would be “ruined” for domestic life by my career and my comparatively footloose and fancy-free single life. Would I feel discontent being a wife and stay-at-home mom? True, I’ve had to make some significant adjustments during the past two years. But I’ve been surprised by how naturally I’ve fallen into the roles of wife and mommy. Every skill and bit of maturity I acquired during my singleness has been put to use. It has been a fairly seamless transition applying the skills I once utilized at work, church and with friends, to supporting a husband and taking care of a child.
God’s plan is best. I wrote a lot about this when I was single. During that time, I clung to the truth that God knew what was best for me and was in complete control of my life. I saw His faithfulness clearly in many other areas of my life — job, friends, ministry — and I knew He could bring me a husband, too. In one blog series, I wrote:
For the everyday pain singles face while they’re waiting for a spouse, I am reminded of two principles for living. First, regardless of whether God blesses me in this way, I am called to trust Him. In a very painful and confusing situation, Job said: “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him” (Job 13:15).
Second, God is all powerful and my lack of a spouse has nothing to do with His ability to provide. Not only that, but He wants good for me. Consider 1 Corinthians 2:9: “However, as it is written: ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.’ “
I would not have desired my story to unfold any other way than the Lord allowed it to. My trust in Him was not misplaced. Of course, I wish I could tell every single that his or her miraculous love story is just around the corner, but only God knows the intricacies of each person’s life. And I’m glad He does; He is the best One to care for those details.