I can remember standing in the bride room with my almost-Mrs friend, when she had a moment of panic. Was she making a mistake? Could she really do this?
It wasn’t that she doubted her fiancé or questioned whether marrying him was the right decision. But it was more of a freak-out moment about the enormity of marriage. Once she walked down that aisle and said her vows, she was all in. Burn the ships; there’s no sailing back home. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be a little overwhelmed at making a commitment that is the best thing and the hardest thing you’ll ever do.
I thought about that scenario when I read this blog from speaker Mo Ism. She shares the exciting news of her engagement, but then explains how immediately after saying yes, she doubted her answer.
“But the fact of that matter is that as soon as the boyfriend I cherish became the fiancé I promise to cherish for the REST OF MY LIFE, my human nature began to doubt. And I began to realize how much my mind and heart had been crafted by the world, rather than the Word.
You see, the world says there is a soul mate. The world says there is a Prince Charming. The world says there is a PERFECT PERSON for you out there and if you find him, you will live happily ever after. If you marry the wrong one, it’s not the end of the world, you can just divorce him and continue the hunt for the man made JUST for you. The man who will always make you happy. But if you want the least amount of hassle possible, make sure you find the perfect one the first time around.
The world says the person should be perfect for YOU. The ring should be perfect for YOU. The proposal should be perfect for YOU. The wedding should be perfect for YOU. And the Pinterest world will certainly praise YOU. (If you manage to host the perfect barn wedding, that is.)
But the WORD says it has nothing to do with you. The Word says the covenant of marriage has everything to do with God. The Word says the journey of navigating a lifetime promise has everything to do with Jesus. And the only thing perfect for YOU in the equation is grace.”
As Mo explains, she wasn’t doubting her fiancé. There weren’t any red flags about moving forward in marriage. But what she was experiencing was the gravity of committing to love someone as Christ loves us.
“Marriage is a taste. A tiny, intimate taste, of God’s love for us. It is a promise that is not taken lightly because, ultimately, it is a promise to accept another and love another like God loves us, daily. It is nothing we can even come close to doing on our own. And THAT is the joy of saying ‘yes’ to the proposal. Not that we have found the ‘perfect person,’ but that we are a step closer to drawing back a layer and getting to see God’s perfect love played out in a beautiful way in our lives.
I am excited about marrying Jeremiah because he is NOT the perfect man for me. And I am NOT the perfect woman for him. But we are both committed to following the PERFECT King who showed us the perfect example of how to love.”
I appreciate how Mo reminds herself of the truth of marriage — that on our own we can’t love each other well. At all. But when two people are both committed to Christ and both are living in submission to Him, they can. Neither one has to fear or doubt the decision because God’s love fills them and His strength will carry them through each day.
