As an introvert, I know how difficult it can be to embrace certain date ideas, especially when you’re dating an extrovert.
Many dates that extroverts find exciting, I find draining. Going out to the busiest restaurant in town, seeing a movie on its opening weekend, attending a loud concert or making noise at a sporting event can be fun, but I have to be in the right mood. Most of the time, these are the last things I want to do on a Friday night after a long week.
That’s OK. Not every date has to be a full-scale production. In fact, introverts have an advantage when it comes to dating. In addition to having fun on a date, you should be able to talk and get to know each other. Introverts are most comfortable in quiet spaces, and when we invite our dates into these spaces, we’re more talkative and relational, thus setting the stage for a successful date experience.
Here are some creative and low-key date ideas for introverts — but I’m convinced extroverts will enjoy them too.
There’s something disarming and playful about swinging from the trees like Tarzan and Jane. If I set two chairs between a couple trees and strike up a conversation with my date, that’s boring (maybe even creepy). But replace the chairs with a hammock and now it’s a carefree, creative activity that helps you relax and float through conversations without a care in the world.
If you want to get to know someone, go on a hike together. There’s something about the great outdoors, fresh air and a sense of exploration that brings deeper topics to the surface. I guarantee you’ll talk about more than just your favorite movie or music genre.
I do a lot of soul searching when I’m hiking. When I hike with a date, we both end up talking about big picture things like our current fears and future aspirations.
I can’t swim (I had a bad experience), so I’m averse to this one. Rumor has it though that kayaking and paddleboarding are great activities that make for adventurous and memorable dates. I’m sure they have a similar effect to hiking, but you have to try it out and let me know how it goes.
4. Picnic/Order Takeout
Instead of sitting in a busy restaurant surrounded by other diners, order your meals to go. Find a quiet neighborhood park or a secluded bench somewhere, enjoy your meals together and have a nice, private conversation without all the distractions. This might be daunting for a first date, but once you’ve enjoyed a few dates together, this a great way to get to know each other better and have a more personal conversation.
5. Shopping spree
Rather than spending money on a nice dinner and two movie tickets, why not go shopping instead? To make it memorable, go shopping for each other. Skip the big-box stores and shop at smaller local boutiques and gift shops (feel free to set a spending limit). At the end of the night, you can both give each other something unique and have a fun souvenir to remember the date.
6. Escape rooms
Think your boyfriend or girlfriend is marriage material? A good way to test it is to get locked in a room you have to escape from in less than 60 minutes. Escape rooms are challenging and require a lot of communication, problem solving and teamwork to survive. It’s a great way to see how well you and your date work together under pressure. Some escape rooms are hard to do with just two people, so this might be a great double-date idea.
Hop in the car or on bikes and visit some of your favorite sights nearby. Drive through the mountains, ride along the beach, visit a historical site or just travel to your favorite local hangouts. I enjoy visiting my favorite hometown spots during dates and sharing why they’re significant to me. It’s a great conversation starter and you never know, you just might discover you share a special place with your boyfriend and girlfriend.
8. Painting/Cooking class
Sharing the experience of learning something new together always creates great memories. This is a playful way to relax, let your inner child loose, stimulate your senses and explore one another’s imaginations. Who knows? You just might reveal a hidden talent you or your date didn’t know you had.
This one’s a stretch for most guys, but gardening is a cathartic and underestimated dating idea. Community gardens are a great way to get to know new people, and planting and caring for a garden is a fantastic way to see how well you enjoy the more mundane parts of life together. Get your hands dirty, water, fertilize and pull some weeds together. You’ll both enjoy the fruits (and vegetables) of your labor.
10. Symphony/Stage Performance
Last but not least, do something old-fashioned and go to a live stage performance or the symphony. Have fun with this classic outing and dress up in the fanciest clothes you have. Afterwards, go out for tea or coffee and talk about your favorite parts. Then share your least favorite parts. The most important thing is that you talk afterwards.
I’m sure you’ve had some great date ideas that helped you and your date get to know each other better without draining you to depletion. Take a moment and help your fellow introverts out by sharing your experience in a comment below.
Copyright 2019 Matt Stickel. All rights reserved.