The Single Life Workshop, Part 1

My friend Sara did something fun last year. She flew alone all the way to Redding, California and attended a workshop for singles hosted by Bethel Church. I am so proud of her! She has such a teachable spirit. She knew she wanted to grow in this season of singleness and let the Lord ready her for marriage one day. She grew while there, made great new friends, and most importantly, stepped into a new level of freedom. She identified some lies she had been believing, and God revealed the truth to her.

Sara came back with a new focus and desire to see other singles thrive and flourish in their season of singleness. She wanted to lead such a group, but knew that it needed to be under the covering of her local church. So she took another brave step; she prayed and asked her pastor if she could start one. He was thrilled and gave his blessing. She extended the invitation to join this group to her friends who are single and to their friends who are single.

I immediately signed up. I think I am making the most of this single season, but I know there is always more to learn and receive. There is always more that God wants to develop in our character. The workshop is filled with guys and girls of all ages and from many different churches. It’s beautiful. The workshop will last for 12 weeks. My prayer is that the Lord will impart some wisdom and tools to me and in turn, I can pass them along to all of you. Here are a few things I’m learning already:

Cover this season in prayer.

At the beginning of our first session, Sara put on some worship music and we all sat and journaled. We prayed and asked God what His plans and desires are for this workshop. We asked Him what He wants to say to us and do in us. Too often, I don’t know that we readily do this. My season of singleness has been long compared to many of my friends who were married in their early 20s. I needed that moment to ask God how He wanted me to live during this season so that it reflects His love, goodness and kindness to those around me.

Seek out testimonies about single life.

The video part of the session was filled with powerful wisdom and stories of singles who have been through the workshop. Revelation 12:11 says, “And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” For those of us who know Christ and those who don’t, testimonies are one of the most effective ways to hear truth and wisdom. They serve as an encouragement to our souls. They let us get a sneak peek into what is possible. I gained so much perspective from each person whose story was shared.

Take note of how past experiences and/or relationships are affecting present views on relationships.

The latter half of the session put the participants in groups of 7-8 people. All groups were co-ed. We were asked to introduce ourselves and share a bit of our past relationships and family backgrounds. It was so interesting to hear every person’s story. I tend to be fascinated by human nature and family dynamics. Some stories included functional, nuclear homes. Some included highly dysfunctional ones. Some had stories of legalistic homes. Some homes had no boundaries. Some people shared stories of abuse, drugs and even prostitution. Some involved never having been in a relationship.

It didn’t stop there. We each took inventory of how all of those circumstances have shaped us into who we are today and how they have shaped our outlook on relationships and sexuality and even how we view God in the midst of it all.

I am prone to keep myself occupied with ministry and activities and friends and all sorts of good things. Sometimes, I am a little too busy. I don’t always give myself a moment to stop and breathe and process what’s going on in my heart and mind. I am so thankful for this opportunity to intentionally set time aside to walk through such an amazing, Holy Spirit-filled course with both old and new friends.

I am believing for more of a sense of identity, more freedom, more hope and a deeper sense of how much the Father loves me. I would love for you to receive that as well!

Have you intentionally set time aside to pray over your single season, learn from others’ stories and process how past relationships have impacted your present ones?

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