Have you ever heard a “perfect” love story and thought, Wow, I want my love story to be that beautiful and look exactly like that! Or maybe, I want to do everything right just like they did. I know I’ve heard several similar love stories that have stirred these thoughts in me. Actually, it’s gone beyond just having those thoughts for me; I’ve actually felt pretty pressured in the past to have a love story that happens or looks a certain way.
This past summer was when my perspective started to change. I was in three weddings for close friends. And I was single, so I became slightly more aware of that fact. But I love weddings. I enjoy seeing the love of people around me, seeing happiness brought to my friends, and having a good excuse to dress up and fix my hair really fancy is always welcome!
But as my friends kept announcing their engagements and I shared the news with others, I began to receive an unexpected response from people. Many friends came to me, asking, “Why are they in such a rush to get married?” “Why are they getting married so young?” or “I don’t think they’ve really thought this out.” My engaged friends also came to me with their hurt because of remarks made to them by people who spoke out of bitterness or jealousy.
Throughout this time, God took me through a process of realizing something about the many different love stories in this world. The gradual revelation was so gentle, passionate and relieving: God has written a different love story for all of us.
Really? I’m not supposed to do everything exactly like they did it? It seemed so right and beautiful!
That may very well be the case, but that doesn’t mean their story is as right or as beautiful for you. For some, that may look like an exclusive love relationship with Him. Others may marry their high school sweetheart. Some may meet on a blind date like both sets of my grandparents, or have a whirlwind relationship and engagement like my parents. Like my friends, many will marry young, while others, like my uncle who married at 49, will wait much longer for their bride or groom. Many will experience much pain, betrayal and brokenness on the way, while others struggle against impatience and discontent, feeling as though nothing will ever come their way.
It’s vital to remember that God is in control. It’s not really a matter of our giving that control to Him as much as it is a matter of our acknowledging that He’s already in control. There is so much peace in that understanding.
So, whatever your situation may be, stop, take a deep breath and know that He is God. Your best friend’s love story will most likely not be yours. And if you’ve already had a beautiful love story take place, don’t push the expectation of that happening the same way for all of your friends.
You are uniquely you; your spouse will be uniquely him/herself, and together your love story will be uniquely yours.
And that in itself is beautiful.