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What Makes You Attractive, Part 2


Last week, I blogged about how the best thing I did while I was single was coming to terms with my worth because of Christ in me. I explained that I found peace in my singleness through spending more time with God and learning about my identity in Him. I better understood that even while I was single, I was still loved.

I explained the reason we are attracted to people who are “taken” is because someone found them worthy of love. And I wrote how being single can make us sometimes feel worthless.

Because of the time I spent learning about who God is and my worth in Him and who He created me to be, I had more confidence in my identity. I didn’t need a boyfriend to tell me he loved me to believe I am loved because I found that in Christ. Not that I was wholly content being single (obviously, I’m married), but I knew that my worth doesn’t come from being in a relationship. It comes from Christ. And that is enough.

After hearing some concerns about my post last week, I decided to revisit this topic. One concern was that I encouraged readers to place their worth in themselves instead of Christ. Another was that by suggesting readers make a list of reasons why they are attractive, I was promoting a worldly stance on self-worth.

While I made mention last week of spending time with God to discover my worth, my conclusion did not tie back to how crucial it is that we place our identity and our worth in Christ and Christ alone. He is our foundation.

The reason I challenged you to make a list of what makes you attractive was not to encourage pride and worth that comes solely from the self. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” We all have sin we bring daily to the cross.

But rather, make a list that is full of answers to these questions: Who am I, and why am I worthy of love?

God delights in you. He sent His Son to die on the cross so that you can spend eternity with Him. He has a plan for your life. He purposefully gave you gifts to use to glorify Him. He has compassion on you and loves you more deeply than you can imagine. He cleansed you from all sins. You are worth something to Him. You are worth something to the most holy God. Let that sink in.

I’ve had friends go through break ups who had the same experience I did. They found worth and safety in being in a relationship. When the relationship ended against their desire, their tendency was to question themselves and their worth. Just like I did, they placed their worth more in the health of their relationship with another person instead of the health of their relationship with God.

But we must remember our level of attractiveness and worth does not come from our relationship status. It comes from owning who we are in Christ and stepping into who He calls us to be. It comes from spending time with Him and getting to know Him. And in that, we recognize that while we fall short, we are loved immensely by God who calls us into life with Him anyway.

I received a card in my spiritual formation and biblical interpretation class my freshman year of college. I’ve carried it in my wallet ever since. And on that card, it lists who I am in Christ. Amazing reminders such as not condemned, made complete, given a spirit of love, forgiven and sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit fill the card. I pull it out from time to time when I need a reminder that I am loved and how I can know that is true. God loves me, and that is what gives me worth.

Like the card I carry in my wallet as a reminder, what Scriptures or phrases come to mind when you think about your identity and worth in Christ?

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About the Author

Amy Kessler

Amy Kessler interned with the Boundless team in 2011 and is a journalism graduate from Biola University with a minor in biblical studies. She has experience in newspapers, magazines, blogging, social media and online content management. Amy lives in California where she works as a marketing assistant for a community college district and blogs about her spiritual life. She enjoys playing tennis, experimenting with HTML, and discussing marriage and relationships.

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