Why are most women I know dying to get married and most men I know terrified of commitment? And I'm talking about Christian men and women. It seems like something has gone haywire here. Which sex is right? Are they both wrong? HELP! And what can we do about it?
Women tend to be more strongly oriented toward relationships, men toward "doing things." This difference is more than culture; it's part of the human design. It's also why men and women need each other, because our designs are complementary. Because of this difference, however, women tend to be quicker to recognize their need for men than men are to recognize their need for women. Another result of the difference is that although both men and women sin equally, they tend to sin in different ways; while women are more likely to sin in the name of relationship, men are more likely to sin against it.
For example, a woman is more likely to "devour" a dear one's personality than a man is, but a man is more likely to "use" another's body than a woman is. In a culture like ours, in which men can get sex without giving anything in return, these tendencies are perversely amplified, and unless Christians consciously resist them, they too fall under the spell. Christian women: Hold out for marriage. Christian men: Get married. For those of you of either sex who are called by God to permanent singleness: Remember that you aren't uncommitted; you have another and deeper commitment.
Copyright 2000 J. Budziszewski. All rights reserved.
If you have a question you'd like us to consider for this column, please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please note that all questions we select for this column may be edited for clarity and privacy and become the property of Focus on the Family.
Like what you see?
If you’ve enjoyed this article, will you consider giving a tax-deductible gift to Boundless right now? We’re a donor-funded ministry, and we rely on friends like you to help keep us going! DONATE NOW »
Helping young adults mature in Christ and prepare for marriage and family. Learn more
© Focus on the Family 1998-2014