My fiancé and I have been living together for several months now. We've just recently moved into the house we'll be living in after we're married. I too have children involved. In fact I have two of them — a 7-year-old boy and a 3-year-old girl who look to my fiancé as Daddy because they neither see nor hear from the sperm donors. Here's my question. The wedding is in three weeks, and we're both trying to do what God wants for us — not only for our marriage but also our family. Would God really want my fiancé to move out for such a short period of time, even though we're not having sex and have put limits on physical contact?
Blessings for writing. I congratulate you on your upcoming marriage, and on your desire to follow God and do the right thing. One of the right things to do — and God is quite clear about this — is not to live together unmarried, no, not even for a day. The fact that only three weeks remain until the wedding is irrelevant. Here are four good biblical reasons.
Two cautions against self-deception: Don't tell yourselves "We can't find him another place to live in such a short time!" It's easy, if you're really trying. If he were living in an apartment and it burned down at breakfast, by suppertime he'd have found a temporary place to stay, wouldn't he? With a guy friend, whatever — he wouldn't be sleeping on the street. And don't tell yourselves "It's too late to set a good example for the kids and our friends, because we've set the bad one already!" It's never too late. You can set the example of changing your behavior when you realize that you're not doing the right thing! What a powerful example that would be!
May God always help you to do the right thing, now and throughout your coming marriage.
Grace and peace,
Copyright 2002 Professor Theophilus. All rights reserved.
If you have a question you'd like us to consider for this column, please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please note that all questions we select for this column may be edited for clarity and privacy and become the property of Focus on the Family.
Like what you see?
If you’ve enjoyed this article, will you consider giving a tax-deductible gift to Boundless right now? We’re a donor-funded ministry, and we rely on friends like you to help keep us going! DONATE NOW »
What's wrong with a test drive?
Mentor Series: The Boiling Pot
Is temporary cohabitation OK?
Sign up for our weekly e-newsletter and get a free 30-minute video sample of TrueU #3: "Who Is Jesus?"
Helping young adults mature in Christ and prepare for marriage and family. Learn more
© Focus on the Family 1998-2014