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3 Ways Friends Can Help Your Relationship


I was around 26 when I learned that “Help” was a Beatles song. Until then, well … to my knowledge, it was simply a tune Full House used in a Season 2, Episode 1 montage.

Go ahead and take a moment to snicker at this painful confession. If I were you, I would. Lucky for me, I married a man who watched fewer sitcoms over the years and listened to more English rock bands. He made it his mission to educate me. Better late than never, right?

This isn’t to say that I didn’t learn anything from the song in my state of blissful ignorance. Even as comedic background music, it taught me that we should never be too proud to ask for help. It’s a lesson I’ve carried into my adult years, specifically when it came to dating my now-husband, Ted.

In my article “When Friends and Romance Mix,” I talk about how friends can play a valuable role in a couple’s relationship. This was the case for Ted and me as we sought to determine whether we were a “good fit.” Here are three ways we received a little help from our friends.

1. History. I’d only known Ted a few months before we started dating. This was hardly enough time to have my own historical record of his character. That’s where mutual friends came in handy. While I was new to the church we met at, Ted had been attending and actively involved for almost a decade. I was surrounded by people who did have a “History of Ted” to share with me. They were storehouses of knowledge on his character.

2. Accountability. This idea of being accountable or answerable to someone trustworthy isn’t only a good one on an individual basis, it’s also helpful when it comes to romance. I still remember when my closest friend called me in the early stages of our relationship to make sure I knew there was an age difference between the two of us. She was concerned it could be a deal-breaker and didn’t want to see Ted get hurt. From the start of our romance, this friend helped keep me accountable in how I treated Ted and his feelings.

3. Cheer-ability. Turns out our community, like us, came to see that we were a good fit. As a result, they cheered us on. While some of the encouragement we laugh about now — one of Ted’s oldest friends told him, “She’s the least messed-up woman you’ve dated” — it helped confirm the direction we sensed God leading us and our relationship.

In the area of romance, I’ve learned it’s good to seek out the help and wisdom of godly friends. After all, as I also learned in my late 20’s, to attribute to that legendary band from across the pond, it’s good to “get by with a little help from my friends.”

ashleigh-slaterAshleigh Slater is the author of the bookTeam Us: Marriage Together, as well as a regular contributor to a number of popular blogs and websites. When she’s not writing, editing or figuring out the best way to avoid Atlanta rush-hour traffic, Ashleigh spends her time drinking multiple cups of coffee, hanging out with her four daughters, and binge-watching television shows on Netflix with her husband, Ted. To learn more about Ashleigh, visit or follow her on Facebook.

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