In my 20s I experienced the advent of online dating. Several popular websites emerged where singles could fill out an online profile and be matched with local singles or even those in distant states. Online dating greatly extended the “sea” from which a single person could “fish” for a mate. I saw several of my friends meet and marry their spouses through a dating site.
Then came the apps. Some were helpful for making specific requests such as an age range, desired religious beliefs, and common interests. Others were more geared toward the search for short-term relationships. For better or worse, the popularity of apps like Christian Mingle, Match and Tinder connected singles with potential people to date. I saw several of my friends meet and marry their spouses through a dating app.
Mobile dating during Covid-19
Fast-forward to the 2020s, where we find ourselves on the other side of a global pandemic that changed the way singles dated. Of dating during the pandemic, Debra Fileta wrote:
Not only is it nearly impossible to meet other singles because of worldwide “shelter in place” orders, but when you do run into them at essential places like the grocery store, all you can see is a pair of eyes staring back at you thanks to the masks we’re all advised to wear. Talk about blind dating taken to a whole new level.
Dating app traffic rose during the pandemic, with Tinder recording its highest number of swipes per day in March 2020. According to an article about the impact of Covid-19 on dating app use:
Mobile dating platforms were seemingly able to leverage the pandemic as an opportunity to experiment with new video technology and features, advising users on how to ‘date from home’ successfully, thereby promoting virtual dates to users who might otherwise have questioned the purpose of dating apps.
As with other digital ways of connecting (distance learning classrooms, Zoom work meetings, Google meetup game nights [just me?]), this bump dissipated once in-person options became available again.
Next generation dating
Thinking back on the past 20-plus years of online dating, I was curious to find out if singles are still utilizing digital matchmaking services. One headline stood out: “Gen Z is ditching dating apps to meet in real life.” From the article:
Dating apps have been losing their appeal amongst singles in recent years, especially Gen Z, the generation born between 1997 and 2012. Only 26% of online dating services users in the U.S. are 18 to 29 years old, while 30 to 49-year-olds comprise 61% of that same userbase, according to Statista data as of September 2023.
The article goes on to say that dating apps aren’t cool to the younger generation primarily because such apps come across as businesses wanting to make money, not actually help their clients find love. According to an Eventbrite survey of 1,001 U.S. respondents, Gen Z is ditching the apps and going back to traditional dating methods, such as meeting people in real life.
Almost half of Gen Zers are keen to meet life partners through their mutual friends and about a third are hopeful that it will happen in their day-to-day routine, Eventbrite found.
Community unplugged
I’m encouraged to hear younger singles are opting to put down their phones and get out and meet people. While online dating can be a useful tool, interacting with folks in person is the best way to form true connection. I think the trend also reflects the need for community we all feel with the pandemic in the rearview. We also may be suffering from some digital fatigue.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Paul says, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” In the early church, this would have certainly been an in-person activity. We’re called to be in community and encourage others each day. And sometimes the old ways are the best ways. I’m all for putting down screens and engaging with people in real life, including when it comes to dating.
Copyright 2024 Suzanne Hadley Gosselin. All rights reserved.
