Standing Up for Femininity
Actress Kirsten Dunst recently caused a stir after she made some comments during an interview about femininity being undervalued. Her stance was that it’s not a bad choice for a woman to fill a more nurturing, family role than being career-driven.
Dunst said she understands that women need to work outside the home and earn an income, but that the role her mother filled as the nurturer and stay-at-home mom was a good example for her. For her, that aspect of femininity is important.
My mom was a stay-at-home mom after she had kids. My dad was the one who went to work every day and brought home the paycheck. I loved having my mom at home while I was growing up. I got to watch them together and see how well it worked having my mom be the one to cook meals and take care of my brother and me while my dad filled the provider role and went to work. I learned a lot about being a good wife from my mom. Being feminine in terms of being a housewife is hard work. The job never ends, but it does allow the man to focus on providing and leading.
While I have a career of my own, I have nothing but respect for women who want to fill a role as a housewife and stay-at-home mom. I may get there someday myself! In fact, I watched this touching video yesterday that was floating around my Facebook feed. These people created a job that had no salary, and they interviewed candidates for what appeared to be an impossible job. And what was the job? A mom! It’s worth the watch.
One of my favorite comments from Dunst was one she made about men and women needing to fill their different roles in order for relationships to work.
“And sometimes, you need your knight in shining armor. I’m sorry. You need a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman. That’s why relationships work.”
I can be a pretty stubborn and independent woman, but sometimes I do need my knight in shining armor. When I toss my independence aside and more readily accept his help, my fiancé loves it. In the moment, it can be hard to remember that femininity encourages masculinity and creates more harmony in relationships, but it does.
Over the weekend, I was watching TV with my fiancé at his apartment. We started to hear some noise coming from the back of the unit, and since it was completely dark out, I started to get scared. Josh immediately offered to go outside and see what was going on so I could feel safe.
Nothing was amiss, and it just happened to be someone working on their car. The covered parking area is right behind our apartment, so that’s why the noise was so loud. But Josh jumped into his role as protector, and he told me later he loves when I need him in those ways. He likes it even when I need help opening a jar. It makes him feel like a man. And I love that I can make him feel that way when I let him have some authority as the man and ask for his help.
If both a man and woman want authority in a relationship, it won’t work. Women need to let men be men and encourage them to step into the role designed for them by embracing femininity. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that it’s OK to show a little dependence and submit to a man’s godly leading.
About the Author
Amy Kessler interned with the Boundless team in 2011 and is a journalism graduate from Biola University with a minor in biblical studies. She has experience in newspapers, magazines, blogging, social media and online content management. Amy lives in California where she works as a marketing assistant for a community college district and blogs about her spiritual life. She enjoys playing tennis, experimenting with HTML, and discussing marriage and relationships.