One of my greatest privileges as the editor of Boundless is reading the emails we receive at [email protected]. This is the address where people write to us for advice.
A question I see often from women is “I’m such-and-such age, and I’ve never been asked out. What should I do?” My heart always aches a little when I read those emails, because I can relate. I was in my mid-20s when I went on my first coffee date — thanks to eHarmony.
But now in my early 30s, my question is less “how can I get a date,” and more “why hasn’t anything worked out?” I’ve tried being set up. People are praying for me. I’ve given guys a chance. My appearance has improved. I’ve read every article on Boundless for nearly the past four years! I’ve done all I know to do, and I’m exhausted.
When I hit a low point several months ago, the Lord brought a picture to my mind. It was of me holding a ball, symbolizing my desire to be married and have a family. Through the years, my grip on that ball had been getting tighter and tighter. And with each closed door I faced, I feared God was trying to take the ball away from me.
Then early one morning in my time of reading my Bible, the Holy Spirit prompted me to hand over the ball. As I sat on my couch with bed head and Bible in my lap, tears streamed down my face. And I struggled for a bit. I didn’t want to give up my ball. By giving Him this desire, I was giving Him permission to do with it as He pleased. Could I really trust Him?
Feeling I had no other choice because I had already “tried it all,” I knelt down, stretched out my arms and said, “Lord, take this and do with it what You will.”
Whew. That was not easy.
I don’t know what God will do with my ball, whether or not He’ll grant my desire. But I know that letting go of my death grip on it has loosened my capacity for joy and peace again. I’m more at rest with my marital status than I have been in a long time. And fully convinced God loves me and has a plan for me, I wait in expectation to see what He does with that ball now in His hands.
A song from my childhood that often pops up in my memory is “Cast All My Cares” from Psalty the Singing Songbook. Remember it? The chorus sings, I cast all my cares upon You. I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet. At anytime that I don’t know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You.
Whether you’re asking how to get a date or why nothing has worked out, may I challenge you to cast that care on your heavenly Father? First Peter 5:6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”